Time for a Change.

2008-12-01T12:14:00.002+08:00

Do Relink;
www.hickeyparade.blogspot.com

Clickclickclick, Hickeyparade

C.

2008-12-01T09:04:00.004+08:00

Thankyou for opening up, telling me what i needed to know. And the tinge of sincerity in your tone, i felt it across the vibes of radiation evey single time the screen lighted up. I hope things will look up for the better from now, i'll work at it on my side and you aren't excused either, you monkey. And despite the numerous flaws that you've admitted in yourself, i'm still bewitched. So quit telling me to take the next exit out of the long roadtrip, my sealt belt's buckled tight. As long as what you've doesn't change and doesn't fade, i'll stay in the passenger seat. You'll take the wheel. As much as this is new for you, it is for me as well. Your promise to open up as time passes, and to always speak the truth, still stands so don't you forget. Time's a key, and you're the playmaker, its all in your hands. And we'll just see where the wind takes us, for now.

I guess what I'm be saying is there ain't no better reason.

Thankyou Rico, Qaiser, Wayne, Sheryl :)

Swingswingswing.

2008-11-30T22:36:00.004+08:00

Its the time of my month,
and i think i'm fucking pmsing.

Breather, breather.
Mount faber's Xmas Tree's so pretty.
I want to walk up and touch it,
screw the electric currents.
However, i should be contented.
The view from my window's adequate,
the tree's just directly opposite.
;D

Walking up late at night's dangerous, be cautious.

One Wish.

2008-11-29T14:38:00.006+08:00

Santa can you hear me?
I really hope that you’re on your way.
With something special for me in your sleigh.

Christmas is less than a month away.
Europe Trip is 16 days away.
Ohmy. ):

Ponder.

2008-11-29T13:00:00.003+08:00

It was at the end of the day, and the result of too much hysterical laughing at Pizza hut. Thus, the above picture does me quite a huge amount of injustice. I think i look rather awful. But on the other hand, Cheryl still looks awesome :D Plus, it includes the backdrop of the superpretty balloon that I bought for Waicheong :D Haha. Thus, i'm still uploading it onto my blog, how public. I think if C sees it, he will probably ask me to take it off cause he either thinks its not nice or my eyes are hidden. Both of which, can't be helped. Really. Cheryl's a emo kid, she saunters into lecture like a half-awake zombie and takes the best photographs (i think my aiming's good k when charissa cheryl and i tried taking a group shot on our own, but her skills are way better, i tend to shake the camera -.-) And despite the fact that birthdays are seemingly nothing to her, its actually really 'something' yknw :D the 29th of november only comes once every year! So.

Happy 17th Birthday Cheryl :)

Every chick should catch Wildchild. Drool over Emma Roberts's stickthin legs and branded goods from her louisvuitton to her jimmychoos , prim and proper uniforms, her Malibu house in the show, the drop dead gorgeous cast and extras even the woman who confiscates their phones and makes sure they go to bed after lights out is friggin' thin. And you see, why is it some just refuse to reply a message even though a mere few words would be fine. Why is it after repeating so many million times, and with so many consents and agreements that one would, they eventually don't do so in the end. If one gets tired of hearing the same thing over and over again, doesn't the speaker feels the same way as well. Noone likes to be a old granny, nagging about the same point for the upteenth time. And if i don't initiate, would you? The first steps, are all taken on my own accord. I give in, always. And though the words you said that faithful day, hit me straight in the heart cause that was just once in the few times that you were really sweet, you don't really show that you bother now. Do you? And really, who likes to feel neglected anyway. Perhaps you should listen to what i say, for once. Instead of letting it go out, through the other ear. You never have anything to say in response, and i wish i would stop wishing that you would.

I need to start studying, asap.
Going out tonight, :)

All that i've done, is all i have to give.

Retreat.

2008-11-27T20:14:00.009+08:00

Waicheong's BIRTHDAY!

I BOUGHT the Princesses Balloon for him. The sex luh, Waicheong! Hahaha. He had to carry it all around Plaza Sing :D Hawhaw. Dinner at Pizzahut, with Waicheong Charissa Cheryl Marcus Qaiser Shannon and Weiling. They were shocked, that i wasn't in any trace of black -.- Pink ftw. Haha. I was filled to the brim after just one slice pf pizza. -.- All the excess gas from laughing at Charissa. Haha. Lepak at Istana Park after that. Suddenly, everyone was engaged in mini conversations. Likea emo only /: Took 65 back, the bus took uber long to come. Walked back from Stc. Walrussss, i hope you had a great 17th :D And you want to smash me on my 18th? HAHA. FAT HOPE LUH. We'll see k. Haha. See whether you're fast enough. Waicheong points middle finger at me almost everyday, kanasaih. Whats more, its a form of greeting when he sees me. Motherrrr. Waicheong's birthday board is the bomb, pictures were dope. Even Raven couldn't control his laughter. Haha. I settled my tutorials till late at night, barely slept at all.

I woke up on the wrong side of bed. Took a bus to school, folded straws all the way as a form of distraction. Macro was heavycontent all the way, my attention span was divided here and there. Lunch with the 05 and 07 people. Qaiser accompanied me to Co-op, we talked as usual. Poa tutoriaaalll, 2hours was a drag. Similar to Maec, i panicked like mad for poa. BalanceDay always drives me up the wall. Poa test, then the day ended. I just went down for my flu injection, with Zhixin. Zhixuan bluffed us, say that it didn't hurt at all. Liar. The jab was like a sharp sting, Zhixin's expression was bloodypriceless. And the doct said that, it doesn't even hurt much -.- Omfg, we were complaining like mad after that. I can't lift my arm more than 45degrees now, wtf. Then when the both of us came up, complaining about the pain, Zhixuan laughed in our face with her horribly irritating laughter. What a shithead, and she's the youngest amongst us but she insists it didn't hurt. HAHA. Plus, she had the less-gentle doctor. My fingers on that arm are slightly malfunctioning. Zomg, like some weakling. -.-

I'm sorry, for making yall worry. Q and K, thanks for always watching my back :) No matter which period of time i was trapped in. And for offering the best advice, as well as insight. Appreciate it :D Though, sometimes the truth does hurt, but at least yall don't keep it from me. And whether or not it becomes any more serious in future, it matters no more. I'll just pray no hooha diverts my attention away from mugging for the CommonTests. All the love in the worlddd to Wenqi also. I hope you're awright dearest, time of the month(s) can be a bitch at times. We'll go eat frolick soon k, :D Wha before i forgot, ball called me _ sao today. My mouth dropped open, in shock k. Cheryl's influence -.- Anyway. I need to really revise, distractions have been aplenty. Inner discipline, inner strength. There's no school next week from monday to thursday :D Elearning. I dislike IS at times, never thought i would say that. My eyes look like sheeet, dark rings loook semi permanent already. I miss Lover, meet soon meet soon! CALS, IMISSYALL. Y, hope all's well, be strong.

Maybe one day, you can enlighten me. My doubts are still there.
However, FOR NOW. As long as we don't fight, i wouldn't ask for more.

Sleepless Nights.

2008-11-27T00:44:00.009+08:00

Another day goes by,
and nothing's changed.

Screwing up the best thing ever,
is something you'll regret forever.

Get a grip on your emotions, Zhixian.

Screw it, its bloodyhell raining.
AGAIN.

2008-11-25T18:19:00.009+08:00

Even the best falls down sometimes.
Hole in the heart. Bottomless pit.

School was a drag, i blogshopped online with Haziq's laptop. I reached lecture early even though I wasn't planning to. Karthi called me a heeepeee, when Quasee called me emo. Quasee, Qaiser. Same luh, mutton. Haha. Shee5 man, dope shit. I went shopping at the Co-op with Deanna cause I was effing bored and there was too much time to spare. I stoned and daydreamed during Bmgt cause my mind can't stay focused for long. IS briefing after that was a waste of my time, when i could have hurried home and nurse my tired self. My europe trip's coming really soon, 14 days trip. Christmas in a foreign land. Not able to use my phone, ): Nor make phonecalls. Guess, dropping C a call before I sleep has become a habit. Receiving calls when i'm sleeping, has also something i've become accustomned to. How? ): ): Thankgod the company abroad would be good (: Exams are approaching, first paper on the day that the monkey flies away. 830 in the morning )x Ohmummy. I'm really exhausted, i think i'm gonna fall asleep like soon. And i can't afford to. So much to be done, so little time. Dss test tmrw, shitshitshit. And C still can't access the priv.b, I have no idea why. I'm so weary, i'll have to knock out soon. I'm off, needa washup. Bye.

What am i to you, now.

Today's horoscope: "You've attained mutual like, lucky you. However, the guy should make a move soon before your patience reaches the limit. A mere meetup would do you both good. Be careful with your heart, you're falling deeper than you think." W.T.F. Omg. Horoscopes scare the shit out of me. Sometimes.. /:

* qaiserr ]] says:
so yea.
ZHIXIAN ` says:
Perhaps he's really not as clueless as he seems.
* qaiserr ]] says:
-.-
ZHIXIAN ` says:
But i cant overestimate him either -.-
ZHIXIAN ` says:
HAHAH.
* qaiserr ]] says:
isnt that wat we have been trying to tell u?
* qaiserr ]] says:
oh dear...
ZHIXIAN ` says:
.... Ohkay. Hahahah!

I felt damn dumb -.- 'WE' somemore eh. Means, the usual gang of people who are nuts over calling me the same four letter word starting with 'C' every single morning during lecture and whenever they see me in school. Ohmytian. Thanks anyway, Snail and Mutton :D One tells me to lepak, by learning how to mug/run around the house/etc. Includes cleansing too, no eeyyy-deeeaarr why. Haha. The other decodes my thoughts, cause i'm still unsure. Pfft. Well. I think the 2weeks that i'm away in Europe, would be a test of patience isn't it. ): ): ):
I. WILL. SURVIVE. ipraythatmythoughtswheni'mabroadwouldn'tkeelmealive.

Distance makes the hearts grow fonder. Eh C, remember that phrase. I didn't snitched my phrase not like the one you took from that song -.- Remember, remember, remember. Else i'll keel you.

2008-11-24T22:21:00.002+08:00

Wherever you go, I will be waiting.
Whenever you call, I will be there.
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright.

Dss was effing fkedup. I screwed up the last question, feel like i owed the group. Weiling's right, Pbl2 will be better. I'll just have to be more careful :/ Been mopping around for the whole day, can't get my mind off it. And i got my nails done (shutup, hahahah), cause my mum insisted that i pay a visit to the nailsalon. I treat my nails like crap, i suppose. Hahaha. Explains why i don't have the prettiest tens as compared to other girls. Someone told me that i should smile with eyes. Wtfreak. If i could, i would have done so years ago. However, its quite a difficult task. I'll try, results aren't guranteed. I'm off, tomorrow's gonna be a long day. But i like tuesdays (: Goodnight world, i'm sleeping early tonight. My eyebags are horrendous.

C :) Have you read, the bloglink i gave you? Its important. Tell me when you do.

Do you know, do you know.
The ball's in your court.

2008-11-24T08:14:00.002+08:00

You took what you wanted. You got it.
You know when I'm haunted. By everything that you gave me.
You made me, you broke me, you saved me. I'm crazy, but I'm not done.

Don't pretend. That you aren't aware.

Change, 6 letters that make such a major difference.
And i wonder, if i should have stuck to my initial decision.
Thoughts, they wander. But inside, i can't help feeling that it refuses to budge.
Painful, so painful.

2008-11-23T21:49:00.007+08:00

Moodymoodymooody.
Ah f. Plus there's. Dss tmrw, effing nervous.

:( Have yesterdays gone by so fast for you,
that all seems so changed now?

your pace's too fast, i can't catch up.
everything looks bleak.

2008-11-23T11:39:00.006+08:00

Many hours of disappearance,
no trace of your existence.
For me? Yet another sleepless night.

~~Baby, its Payback time.~~

~~Watch me, i can be just as ... heartless.~~

Yeah they were just words, i can't bring myself to be a bitch.
To just ignore your existence, texts and all.
I never thought it would be so effing difficult.
Goddamnit, pathetic. I'm confused, as always.
):

2008-11-23T00:11:00.001+08:00

you don't bother,
so why should i.

Except.. I can't bring myself to do so.
No matter how much i try and try.
Fking pathetic i feel.

2008-11-22T00:43:00.006+08:00

I thrive on the long hours of conversations and the few words in a text. Without them, the empty space widens. My mood dwindles. When it used to be leisure-calls, now's just informative ones. You always have to rush off somewhere, there's no time even for you to take a breather. Cause by the time i exhale my next breath, all i hear is the dial tone. And everytime i glance at a incoming text, it isn't your name i see as often anymore. In return, outgoing ones don't receive replies, when they used to. I don't know what i want, i don't know whats going on in my head. If you're at a standstill after what you've said to me, then i'm at the pitstop too. Time's running out, my energy's draining like a dying battery as well. I'm not as busy as you are, guess I still have enough time to stab myself in my thoughts virtually. I'll be allright, i'm Zhixian. I'll live through it all. I'll live past all the raging emotions that burn from within. Tomorrow will be a better day, i pray. I hope i can sleep well.. tonight.

i thought the rain would stop by now.

):

2008-11-21T15:21:00.002+08:00

My thoughts are driving me insane.
The butterflies, they make me feel like puking.

2008-11-21T13:49:00.004+08:00

When your days and your nights get a little bit colder.

Someone doesn't respond to my morning replies anymore -.- When it used to be dropping me a call when he gets up or just saying that he's awake. Wha, winnerwinner. I wish i was petty enough to throw a tantrum and kick up a fuss. Haha. Ohwells, i'm capable of doing that. HAHA. Naaaaaah. I'll skip the outbursts. Don't reply luhhhhhh. (: Don't cry k, i'm just joking. Thanks for persuading me to sleep in the weehours though you didn't do such a goodjob. I only slept when you were gonna call -.- Right. I think Oh i think katyperry's damn pretty. Haha. And to be honest, i don't know how to get home after Nick's birthdayparty tonight. Goodgame. Nevermindddd, i'll figure my way out. I own a bus guide anyway, hawhaw. Met Waicheong, Qaiser, Jiajie, Haziq and Marcus at Canteen 1 after Lms today, left soon after. Wenqi was messaging me cause i couldn't hear her clearly over the phone. Thanks Dearest, (: Mutton too. The snail was nowhere to be seen today, where are you kartthhhiii. Haha. Waicheong wants my headband, same as Rico. Who wore mine yesterday, saying that when we walk together, we'll look like twins -.- I rock, seriously. HAHAH. I think i ought to go get ready soon, since my bus ride to Bishan would be effing long. I still haven't been sleeping well, my eyes are like humongous dark circles. And my confusion, it still exists. Things will look up, for the better. I hope. I'm yours is echoing faintly in my head. I'm off, goodbyeworld.

All up to me? Somehow, those words seem so daunting and intimidating.

My next step's uncertain, would you guide me?

2008-11-20T19:03:00.002+08:00

Thankyou Wenqi Dearest :)

My eyes still spells fatigue, for days already. Wenqi, thanks for listening :) It meant alot, as much as the bread. Qaiser also, yknow i think bowls rock? Ha. Today's somewhat the end of a hectic week, tomorrow's Nick's Birthdaybash. Dss presentation on monday, i'm not prepared. Night has long fallen, and i'm still sitting here stagnant. I wish i could budge, to move on so fast that you can't even grasp my shadow. The many different emotions that run, seem to multiply as you insert equations of doubts. I can't clarify, not now. When you appear and vanish, as and when you want. I can't handle it, call me weak. Screw this. Get a grip, Zhixian.

Now that the line's been broken.

I'm too afraid to just look back.

The pages have left an empty space.

You were all I had.

2008-11-19T23:03:00.006+08:00

It never felt so painful before. Like a stab, to the heart.
Tonight would be yet another sleepless night. I can't hide my eyes, even my perpectually clueless mom noticed and asked why my eyes look so ... sunken/lifeless. I'll have to find a way to lure myself to sleep. I can't sleep without goodnights. If you get what i mean.

what happened?
):

Thankyou W, Q & K.

2008-11-19T09:13:00.004+08:00

And someday, i promise i'll be gone.

Couldn't you believe. That everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving.

My eyes are puffy. And really small. Waicheong says i'm emo. I'm not ):

imy.

2008-11-18T17:22:00.004+08:00

I'm gonna take a leap.
I'm tired, of being confused.
I'm tired, of being concerned.
I'm tired.

Edited/. I bloghopped. & I saw something interesting.

2008-11-18T00:17:00.007+08:00

Effing mad rush today. The long break today inbetween sucked. I even had time to walk Nick out cause he made me -.- From Ourspace to Canteen 1 eh. Sports Camp GL training was fun (: Went home with Joyce, Reggie and Kiefer. Joyce and Reggie stopped at HollandV. Kiefer and I took the same bus(es) all the way back, he had to walk past my block to get home anyway. Bmgt lecture first tmrw, *yawns. I'm beat, had to rush Bmgt presentation online with Deanna just now cause the both of us are presenting tomorrow. Thankgod gl training wasn't too bad, had Joyce in my group :) Half and Sumay were in the same group. The rest of us were all split. Catching game was fun, i had to drag and run along with Ben. Mark, Ben and Shaun were damn gay. As usual. Haha. Next training's on the 28th, anyone and everyone's welcomed to join :D

Bigbaby's still out, as always. Still, what lifestyles such nightgoers lead. I can't imagine not sleeping throughout the night, just waiting for time to pass. The sky's dark, for you to doze off.. isn't it? Then again, there's the phrase "the night's young." To think about it, the sentence is bulll. Theoretically, i suppose. Rest early when you get back, don't forget to lemme knw yeah? I'm feeling exhausted, gonna head to bed now. Playmate, i hope you're reading this & do contact me? I want to know if everything's okay, i'm worried abt you immensely. How about meeting this thurs? Or wed's cool too. Contact me asap. I'm off to bed, eyelids are closing. Night, world. Tuesdays will rock, cause i get to go back with the others :D Wenqi especiallllllly. Cheryl also! Yay.

2008-11-17T14:17:00.006+08:00

bbabyc.
you seemed really busy, even talking to you these few days via the phone's rushed ): remember i said that i have much to tell you about actually.. /: when you are free then? i know mondays are packed till close to 6am in the morning(s), guess i'll have to accept that no matter how reluctant i am. takecare.

Moody days suck.

I will get better.. in time.

Saturday's spent with Bellie. Retail therapy, till our wallets burned. Teppanyaki to end off the night, then i accompanied her on the bus. A long trip on 131 from the interchange back, left my thoughts running. Early night, cause someone was tired and knocked out straight away. So, i followed suit. Sunday, studydate with Van :) Boyf and i studied at Subway. 5hours plus straight? Of course, with the occassional interruptions. The bigbaby checked up on me, and laughed when i said i was studying? Crap. I was, k. Dinner at Foodjunction. I barely slept much. GL training at 530, so i'll reach home super late today. I dread late days, mondays are supposed to be the earliest for me. I've lost the mood to blog, goodbye. Headache headache headache.

A twist in the ending.

2008-11-15T12:12:00.006+08:00

But it hurts when I think.
When I let it sink in.
It's all over me.
I'm lying here in the dark.

C's going for his first training today! Hawhaw. Kangyi got through for the second draft after they conducted auditions, saw his name on redsport.org. Even stumbled onto a monkey's interview... HAHAHA. Omg, dope. I'm such a pro-fessshhhioonaaall. Haha. High on oxygen, maybe. Bellllllie just woke up, i'll prollllly pop by her place to find her. My hair's so blaccccck. And i'm all set to go, just gimme a few. A wise one told me, that i haven't been smiling as often as i used to back in Stc? Really.. I didn't notice. Hah. Anyway, i'm gonna run else i'll never leave the house. Bye, world! Goodluck to Waicheong, Qaiser, Marcus and Cheryl! For BA amazing race! :)

Goodnight(s), they come from different people.

2008-11-14T23:33:00.004+08:00

Overunderestimated. Sniff that, distinct pungent scent of competition.
Look at all the condescending smiles. I feel like slapping the smirks off 'emfaces.
Violent tendencies, nah. Just a little, annoyed? The tension builds, mymy.

Today's Tarot; 'The Six of Chalices card suggests that if left to your own devices, you will continue to build up a shield of romantic defenses over time. (Mm?) Unresolved emotional issues could now be influencing the romantic choices or the roles you play in your relationship.'
Ahhh. Interesting. Haha.

Yewt's house today after school was out. Took 52 down, it was a rather long journey. Same with travelling back from Bishan. Took 57 to Shenton way and i swear i almost experienced the same pantat-cramp senario just like Karthi did during the futsal tournament.. Nah, just kidding. (: Nick called me after LMS ended, the bunpig was stoning at Canteen 1 since 1045 & I ended at like.. 1135? Haha. Poor thing. Plus i fell asleep when he dropped me a text last night. Uh, woops? Lol. Lunch with Ade, Marcus, Nick, Haziq, Waicheong, Qaiser, etc. Friday group? Haha. Oh. I'm not sure if you'll read this, you &your hectic nightlife. Someone hurt his leg again during soccer. Be careful? At this rate, i'll have to call back from Europe more often than stated (though we did agree on just a few and not everyday) just to check if you've injured yourself or fallen ill OR if neither applies, figures you'll be partying likea rockstar nightly? Don't fall ill, tc of yourself. Tsk. You, such a baaabyy.

By the way, my hair's jet black. Dark brown doesn't react with my hair, it turned out black instead. Not even a hint of brown, damn it. I conclude that my locks prefers to go extreme, but i was prepared luh. Old school, i like. But think it requires some getting-used-to. Cause the brightmaroonred is a major contrast to my... jetblack. Yeah, my original colour's jetblack so guess I wouldn't have to fret too much about the roots anymore. Hawhaww. And my hairdresser decides to be a little experimental. Snipped off my bangs, now i confirmandswear i look like a bloody bowl. Scratch that, a black bowl. Serious shit. My hairband can't push my fringe up, its that short. I ought to hide for the weekend but to hell with it. I'll just pray hard that my wax/hairspray can create wonders tomorrow when i'm out with Bellie. And sunday with Boyf. Ohgawd, save me.

So now you're running.
It's hard to see clearly.
When I make you angry.
You're stuck in the past.

I'm counting the seconds until you break the silence.

2008-11-13T22:34:00.007+08:00

BA futsal team, 3rd :) Congrats yall, everyone played well. Haha. The mutton's penalty and the numlocker's goalkeeping. (nudges Qaiser & Bram) Haha. Likea dope only. The rest of the team were exceptional too, kudos to 'em. Charissa, Cheryl, Marcus and I were making damn alot of noise. Waicheong was deep in concentration, David also. Hah. Absolute iDARE today also. Waicheong and I made speeches, cause Qaiser was away. Saw my unglam video for the second time running, hid by sitting on the ground so noone can see me. Nick came for it also, though he isn't from BA, so thanks bunpig :) Poa test today, i was lucky. Haha. One damned mistake! Off to a good start i hope. Lunch time was spent with Haziq and Rico at the library, looking through albums. Haziq was officially crowned princess today, what a emowhiny princess. Haha. LMS presentation tmrw, pfft. Then the week will end (: This has been one hell of a week. Seriously. And someone is biased against me. Only my friendster comments are not replied. Wtf ): Finee. Wtevr.

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to.
It'll all get better in time.
No matter how hard it is,
I'll be fine without you.

I hate being treated like treasure, then like trash.
I'm not there, as and when you want me to be.
I'm there, cause i want to be.
Don't take it for granted. Don't.

2008-11-12T20:04:00.003+08:00

' everything will be fine in the end,
if it aint fine, it aint the end. '

Thankyuuuw, Snail :)

Perché ancora anticipare.

2008-11-12T10:53:00.003+08:00

babyc, wake up & accompany meeeeeeeeeee.
great, now i feel likea brat.
h8 school, h8 wednesdays.

School was short. Haha. My daily tarot, below.

'At this time certain factors don't add up to a convincing argument. You may not have all the information you need to make a definite decision or to direct the question toward its logical conclusion as it relates to your love life or relationship. Trust and respect your inner voice before turning to outside opinion. You may not be ready to take the next logical step, are not seeing things clearly or are at odds with your personal convictions. Don't give in to self-doubt or it will make you vulnerable to disrespect, excuses or distrust. Demonstrate consideration and honor for yourself, or no one else will, either. Respect your need for more time and 'know thyself' before you make any declarations, connections or contact, but don't overthink things.'

2008-11-12T10:24:00.011+08:00

Do you ever think when your all alone.
All that we can be, where this thing can go.

I'm having a bad day.

Not the same anymore. When did it extend beyond the surface?
Hot and Cold, what else is new. Warm and chilled, its all unchanged. Contradictions.
Its like a cycle, the result's homogeneous. The pain's infinite. Disappointing.
Nonchalence, ultimate killer. I can't hold up, the charade's like toxic.
Are they all just words. No hints, not even a single miserable one.

That sentence was a killer.

2008-11-11T20:11:00.012+08:00

I'm supposed to be resting, sleeping. Cause i'm so goddamnit tired. Babyc, wakeupwakeup ): My stomach's aching, think its the excess wind. I feel lethargic, feel like letting loose. But now's not the time, just 5 weeks more would do. 5weeks to Europe, 5weeks and i'll be away and gone. The heart seeks solace? Perhaps the distance would do me good, or.. make my insides bleed. On the other hand, Cheerup :) You know who you are, whoever you are. I'm here, as always. School was okay, sat w Wenqi for lecture & wished Jiajie Happy Birthday :) Gave him the book i made, together w everyone's messages. Lunch then tutorial. Afterwhich, looked for Nick after he called. All of us left together, when Marcus ended class. Crossed opposite w Adeline to get home. I haven't started on the iDARE slideshow. I'm so effing screwed, time's so tight this week. And my energy's running way too low. Deadlines, screw the shit out of them. That includes Dss. I guess i just didn't know why, you're keeping me up all night.

I wonder through fiction to look for the truth.
Buried beneath all the lies.
And I stood at a distance.
To feel who you are.
Hiding myself in your eyes.

God gave you a heart, to feel.

2008-11-10T21:10:00.008+08:00

So why should I take your hand when you can't promise happy endings?

Open wounds, Broken hearts. Please don't stay, tonight. How about a little more clarification? I haven't thought today would come, haven't actually contemplated on the possibility that it would be so mind-boggling that it would affect my mood, my day even. theUSUALs were awesome, thanks Wenqi Qaiser Karthi Cheryl & everyone else. For just being there, it mattered. Karthi snail told me something wise, he said if i want to see the rainbow then i'll have to tahan the rain. I ripped wholesale, word for word. Qaiser's suggestions and Zhixin's matched. Cheryl shared the same sentiments as me. Wenqi listened, provided her ear. Letting it out, made me feel a lot better. I know Bruddermutton talked to the rest about it during tutorial, hawhaw. Thanks(: Rico loan me his hard disc, and i snitched 1000+ songs from him (via albums) Hah. Yay. Weiling Wifey's best, she's the first i'll look to for doubts on work, cause she always shares (: Love you, cheerup k (: Oh and before i forget. Bbabyc rocked today, thanks for accompanying me. I'm not sure, if you'll read this though. Tsk. Oh and. Isn't what i say true? That you don't reply on friendster?

Sist said, i should stop. Or else, clarify. Ask. Get my deserved answer. Since everything would just freeze here, nothing would continue and no progress will be made if i don't. Pushed into the corner, and left with just what i have to make do with. But aren't humans all greedy? If i could have more, why wouldn't i? If time were to cease here, the frustration would be endless. I want to be enlightened, the dying question is adding the oxygen to my flame. However, i don't have the guts to ask. Even a mere hint seemed so daunting. And even i wonder, when did the word 'timid' exist within. I never thought this could go, and take me away from all i know. Singing just one line, "thats what you get when you let your heart win." with Qaiser shaking his head at me whilst Karthi rattled on his nonsense, did get stuck in my head. I don't know, i don't want to think. Especially for someone whose depth of thoughts isn't exactly shallow, doing so would be a rather challenging feat. But i'll give it a shot, everything's worth a try. I'll not give in and be like the other gerrrlllss, Cheryl seconds that (: Time's supposed to heal, so let time numb the current throbbing emotions. Meanwhile, all i can do is brave it all. Till answers reign.

If only God could make you grow some courage. I don't do no strings attached. If you get my drift. The pain inside, the pain that makes me... me. Best solution would be to give my head a rest and just sit along for the rest of the rollercoaster ride. You know how they always say don't mix business with pleasure? Like how my heart and emotions shouldn't get involved with my head. We'll just see how long this can persist on, and see how much further my inner strength can withstand before my rubberband snaps. It wouldn't be long, i can tell. Wenqi also said, she wants to know how long i can tahan. Haha. We'll just stop and stare when the next big bang comes along aye? Meanwhile, my confusion reigns. (i hear laughter. confused=karthi=snail) I just read Wenqi's blog, thankyou love (: Ily long time, even though you disturb and tease me on a daily basis. Haha. Same with Boyf, woaini. Anyway, watched the first futsal match for polympics today. Yall did well, am glad all of you won the other matches (: It was like, Qaiser Bram Karthi Haziq and 3 other of their friends in the BA team. Goodjob man. I love tuesdays, get to see everyone for lunch (: Takes my mind off every thing thats on my mind. Bye world.

Cheryl: Cheryl Ee rightttttttt! Hahaha. I am smarrrrrt.

Jamie: Suresure, no problem. Will let you know again then (:
Yewt: You stupid blackboy, hahaha. Europeeeee ftw! O:

Maybe you take me for granted.

Better in time? :/

2008-11-09T13:54:00.001+08:00

what'd you do,
if the only person who is able to make you smile,
is the one who made you cry?
♥

I snitched it from a livejournal.
O: oops. Random thought?

And when you take, you take the very best of me.

2008-11-09T12:27:00.019+08:00

Dinner at Vivo with D, N, W M & S on FridayNight. Pichures soon. Cousin's Chalet on Saturday. Nick smsed just to say he got his guitar hero, full set with drums. Rich kid. Neoprints with Cuz(s) and pigcard game + taitee + sparklers. Took my mind off worries.. for a while. Thanks Wenqi & Boyf & Yewt & Sist. The night was a terror. Barely slept, the sounds of nature in the background and my heartbeats in the fore. The ipod in my ears, lyrics echoed louder and louder. Breakfast then back home. My eyes, they look like they've been through hell. I'm still thinking if i should, amend my LMS assignment.
Bigbabym; I hope you're allright, from the bleeding/vomitting. Rest well.

I lose myself in all these fights. I lose my sense of wrong and right.
I cry, I cry. It's shaking from the pain that's in my head.
I just wanna crawl into my bed. And throw away the life I led.
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die.
)':

2008-11-07T14:11:00.006+08:00

I can take your honesty. All your words weigh heavily.
I'm listening to you all the time. I wanna be there for you.
The way you've been there for me. You always help me walk the line.

Perfect, didn't seem so perfect. Afternoon World. My eyes feel dreadfully heavy, my slumber yesterday didn't seem to be one of ease. Could barely doze off even though i was really drained. Managed to knock out in the wee hours of the morning? The sun was peeking past the horizons by then already. Yesterday was far by, tiring. I guess everything took a toll on my patience. Even i was restless, even though i didn't say. So every word i heard mattered, even echoed in my head. Sorry. In the spit of anger or when emotions take control, you tend to blurt out words that you don't mean. I guess someone had a good sleep last night, even after complaining that the wasabi fillet-o-fish sucked. I still think its okay, right boyf? -stares at Van. Hah. Anyway, Bbm don't be angry? /: I think i ought to rush already, need to be at school by 4pm to help Raven paint the Absolute iDARE banner. Waicheong hasn't contacted me -.- Eh heygorgeous. Beautyworld chachacha made me laugh. Made Cornee laughed too, when i showed it to him. Haha. Will update again, goodbye world.

And going out's better than staying in.

2008-11-06T17:43:00.011+08:00

DONE BY ME :D YAY. Hahahah.
I have to rush a 500 word essay tonight plus the ~~Absolute iDARE poster.~~ Ohmaigawd. Plus, i'm super wipedout. Barely slept last night, couldn't seem to lull my mind and settle into slumber. But eventually, i had to cause someone was nagging at me to do so. Haha ;) You rock today k bbmonkey(: Thanks for accompanying me in the morning ;D Hahaha. Ohoh, Cornee sent me the link for his uh basketball thing; someone's selected for Adidas Nations League next year? Eheh. Thats awesome yknw, to be able to make the team. Since all 36 were handpicked. Congraaats :) Stop it, i know what you're thinking, mei yo gui shang shen. I clicked on the photos and guess who i saw in the pictures? HAHAHAHHA. Gotchagotcha, kena spot. Sounds familiar? I THINK someone used it on me before. The exact same words. Hawhaw.

Anyway, school passed real fast today. POA tutor looked super disheveled today. And i managed to finish next week's tutorial today :D So handed it up to him, together with Rico. Chiong like mad during the lesson only, HAHAH. Deanna bought me breakfast in the morning, saved my stomach and plus rescued me from another impending scolding if i decided not to eat. Haha. But lecture was pretty uneventful, apart from Karthi's bluesclues imitation (made me lauggghhh like madd), Qaiser commenting on how Gabriel seemed superhigh today -.-, Conrad's CHOCOLATE (HAHAHAHHA), Alia's scandal (she kept bribing me with her macs breakfast, LOL), and i forgot the rest. MAEC tutorial was yet another dry one then lunch with theClassmates plus theUsuals nearby :) Okay, Zhixian got tagged below by Qaiser.. the Mutton! Teehee.

Three names you go by:
1. Zhixian
2. Xian
3. I can't think of any thats significant. (Shutup, no salt no co-- k -.-)

Three screen names you have had:
1. ZHIXIAN
2. Zx
3 zhiXIAN

Three parts of your heritage:
1. I'm chyyyy-neeese. Pure.
2. Full Fledge Convent girrrrrrl (screams.) HAHAHA, Chij FTW.
3. I'm patriotic, true blue singaporeannn. I'm not gonna migrate. (Even though mr yang told me that i look like the sort that can't wait to get out of Singapore :/)

Three things that scare you:
1. LIZARDS. (YUCKS X:)
2. Lightning
3. Anticipation

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Ipod
2. Handphone
3. Wallet

Three things you are wearing now:
1. Black Headband
2. Adidas shorts
3. Saucony 100plus Run Shirt

Three of your favourite songs:
1. I'm yours - Jason Mraz. (... HAHAHA)
2. Without You - Hinder.
3. Almost Easy - Avenged Sevenfold.

Two truths & a lie, in no particular order:
1. I'm too sensitive for my own good.
2. I like to dress in neon colours.
3. I like to laugh alot when i'm happy.

Three of your favourite hobbies:
1. Online.
2. Shopping.
3. Writing.

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. Sleep
2. Shop online
3. Finish this quiz, its taking freaking long.

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. Corporate Com/ Mar Com.
2. Entrepreneur.
3. PR

Three places you want to go on vacation to:
1. Berlin; Germany.
2. Denmark.
3. Moscow; Russia.

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Get married.
2. Get to see everyone who means alot to me.
3. Spend time with those who are close to heart.

Three things that make you stereotypically a girl:
1. I'm self conscious
2. I'm softhearted
3. I cry easily

Three things that make you stereotypically a boy:
1. I can piggyback a guy biggerthan me.
2. I like camping.
3. ... (omg, i'm stuck)

Three people that you would like see take this quiz too:
1. Half
2. Zhixin
3. Everyone else.

DONE. LIKE FINALLY. HAHAHAHA. I'm so tired, damn exhausted. Gawd. Gonna rush to do the iDARE poster now. Then, settle LMS work. I need sleep, my eyes are like pufferfishes. And if i don't sleep, a madmonkey will come after me. H8 you, thx -.- HAHA. Ps; How insensitive and immature. Fug you, kid. If you weren't willing to wait from the start, don't deceive yourself and everyone else. If you really did "love" her, waiting would have been peanuts. Guess what, ultimately, you're the mothafker thats losing out. She can do without you, friends my arse. Screw you.

2008-11-05T17:54:00.001+08:00

I feel so angry, i want to cry.
Screw moodswings.

2008-11-05T10:22:00.002+08:00

Why is it, everytime i blog, i'm in DSS class. But this time, i guess i'm not so lost after i've cleared my current doubts. For this week only :D I'll bask in my weeklong happiness for now then.Well, today was off to a superb start! Zhixian's a elated girl. I had to make my way to school on my own today, Dad needed to be elsewhere for a meeting. The moment i crossed the roads to the opposite busstop, 195 came! Haha. Happy only, normally i have to wait for both 195 and 61 for a horribly lengthy time. Sucks shit. Alighted at Queensway, and guess which bus was directly behind 195? :D Yeah babe, 61. The trip to school in the morning's usually much longer cause of the human traffic, it was even more draggy today cause there was some traffic jam at around Holland Area. Reached school early still, around 840 then met up with Qaiser, Karthi, Cheryl, Wenqi, Adeline and Ball. I told them the wrong level for their class! Ohmyshit, so sorry so sorry. I was confideeeeennnt somemore ;) Sounds familiar, monkeyC? HAHAH. Thankgod there's internet connection today when Adeline and I arrived in class. Oh i forgot to mention, Bram couldn't come into the lift with us again. HAHAH. His crestfallen expression was damn dope. Plus my fellow Carebearlover (she's damn hardcore, she brought her carebear out so much that it became dirty -.-) Deanna baked strawberry cheesecake today ;D Like ohmaigawd, the crust at the bottom was scrumptious. She baked it herself! I want to marry Deanna, serious. I told her that yesterday when she helped me carry my food to the table in Canteen 1 during lunchbreak. Hahah. But she has her boyfriend, so i'm out of the equation. HAHA.

Anyway, Bigbabymonkey's really a bigbaby in disguise. Plus he likes to monkey around so the name suits him perfectly :D Oh, i send the picture to you already, so check your email? He says i'm GL ): I'm not. I am notttttt. Hahah. He makes me train my patience on a day to day basis, bet you've never met such a slow person. I wait till i fall asleep at times. HAHAHA. Nevermind, patience's a virtue right? -.- Tsk. Stupid monkey, you kid. You better post one of those pics i sent to you, else i'll hack in. HAHAHAH. Bet the monkey's sleeping likea pig now. Ohoh, Noel's an eggtart. HAHAHHA. Damn stupid, i laughed like some nutcase when he told me the reason behind it. How silly. And he says, i'm sweet. So i replied, he's sour. Together, we're sweet and sour! Haha. What shit. Okayokay, i need to rush now. Bloody two hour breaks on wednesdays, effing stupid. I'm off i'm offffffff. Blog another time! Byeeeee.

maybe its just me,

2008-11-03T18:11:00.009+08:00

See Zhixian jumpshot likea pro. Only i was successful. Teehee :D
I miss iDARE camp. I miss Bintan (+ Jetskii) BUT, I miss Double O! most.
Only get to see Dan every day in class, pfft. HAHAHA. Ohwell, happier times (:

Kns. Screw Dss. Ruin my life. I have been sitting here with my text and the stupid microsoft excel turned on for god knows how long. And i am not getting a single shit out of this. Shit you shit you, excel. Monkey hasn't replied me for close to 2500 dinosaur years, probably out galivanting at defu/tofu lane (or so he claims). So secluded, it sounds. Wha, my mood's like awesome now, >:( Screw Dss. I am off, will update again soon. I cannot believe i just wasted my past 2 hours with 'Klassy Kow Icecream" Ohmaigourd. Bram reckons i need a break from Dss, cause of the nonsense that i have been spewing online. The assignment wants a bloody "floating dollar sign" Fyi, it gives a whole new meaning to 'money flying away'. I haven't even done my tutorials yet! Omg, hyp-erv-enti-lates. I am off, baibai.

Karthi; You're a snail not a guy, mister. EH. More like you bully me luh, HAHAH.
Barry; Hey you. yup, i remember.
Manda; YAA. I agree. Cute to the maxxxxxxx :)

Cold air brings clarity to me.

2008-11-03T12:03:00.004+08:00

EH WAICHEONG. YOU ROCK STILL OKAY.
EVEN THOUGH YOUR PANTAT BUSO. Lubchew longtime, HAHAHAHHAHHA.
I have more, i just didn't post up. I was being a nice girl, even though you call me 'pendeh' all the time and even though i always laugh at you via the webcam whenever you videocall with Weiling. You rock, endangered species of a walrus. Whoo. The pink hair seems to look nicer on you, the specs also. Think pink's the new black in your case :D

Dss sucks shit luh, serious. I'm super lost. Even doing the discussion sheet, makes me stressed. Bbmonkey don't want to sing 'i'm yours', wha i'm damn sad. I'm gonna cry now. Hahaha. And he says, good for me. What shit is this, /: Anyway, my dear wenqi has a match later. All the best k (: And and, i'm gonna hurry back to dss now before i get more lost. Need to find some scheme shit. Allright, gotta run. Waicheong, this post's for you babe! HAHAHAHAHHA.

Nagging at me, that feeling.

2008-11-02T15:00:00.006+08:00

O: O: O:
Ohmeegourd. In (L), i swear. Hot to the max. Watch Doreimifasolatido, and you might understand why. Hahah. Whalao, shit. He's damn cute, hahaha. Damn CUTE.

Anyway, a monkey returned home late today. And even emo-ed at Keppel Bay. Because of sightings in orchard? I had a good laugh, so sorry. Haha. Tomorrow's a monday, only day in the week apart from friday whereby classes end early for me. Moreover, friday's elearning for LMS. Oh joy :) That means more time with my Loveerrrrrr. Hahaha. I have a weird and sudden desire to attempt something really impromptu & impulsive. ~~Okay, i shall act on it.~~ I decided to wait a couple of months before i do so, else the results might be drastic -.- HAHA. Off i go, goodbye!

I can't seem to comprehend what i'm irked. And so overwrought. Eeeeeyer. I make it a point not to eat my words, they taste like stomach acid all the time. Ohmygross, haha. I guess, i'll just have to take my stand and pick the side. The doubt prevails, screw the thoughts. I'm gone, my mind needs a breather.

mind tricks, a hallucination?

2008-11-01T22:21:00.003+08:00

HAPPY`HALLOWEEN :D

So trick or treating was done with Half, Yuan, Qian, Puiy, Sumay, Chups, Sophia, Vinee, Celine plus Sumay's sister & friends. Her brother and friends actually rode around their area, with eggs in their hands. They threw eggs at houses that didn't give them sweets -.- Wtfreak. Hahaha. Collected much sweets from houses at Watten area and around the vicinity :) I ended up running with the kids. Sumay was headcounting the number of them and i was the additional head cause apparently... i blend in with them. Wtfook. Hahaha! I couldn't get my fake baby, i was supposed to have been a ... girl who died in labour. But my cuts made me look more abused instead. Chups was an afrohead, Sumay was a devil, Half was a jap school girl, Qian was in convent unif, Yuan's a witch, Puiy's geisha, Vinee's cheerleader, Celine's a vampire and Sophia's Zorro! I still have my butterfly tattoos on my collarbone and back. The rest, i scrubbed off. Couldn't afford to run around with a butterfly on my face right. The night was fun :D Running around, screaming "Happy Halloween!" to others in costumes, sprinting into the houses that were decked with halloween stuff, the aftermeal of spaghetti + caramelpopcorn + chips + fingerfood etc. Thanks Sumay :) And of course, Baba the Chef k. She transformed. Didn't know how she could.. get rid of all those hair in such a short while. HAHAHA. Next year will be better! Teehee, i can't wait already. Bused back to Tiong with Half, Yuan and Puiz. Sleepover was fun :D Webcammed like mad. (Yuan, send em to me soon :D) Then slowly one by one, we fell asleep. I recall talking to Cornee a few times, but the content's vague in my mind. Half was eavesdropping, she claimed. Hahahah. I even talked to him in the morning, and i couldn't recall. Goodgame. Breakfast was at the market :D Yay. Ate like pigs then we went on separate ways. Seafood at Nosignboard's today :D Cause its my dad's birthday, hawhaw. I got my brown bagpack! Yay, i can use it to carry my laptop to school from now. -jumps around. I'm tired still, need to hit the sack. Goodnight!

its a vicious cycle, where there's no next step and no certainty.

somehow, i prefer it like that; at this stage now. i can't explain why.

perhaps deep down, i am aware that there can be nothing more from the start.

then whats on the surface, and determnation made me allthemore stronger.

my dilemma's solved; i'm off the fence, back to my side of the courtyard.

the apple trees are blooming and the grass never looked greener :)

thankgod, i didn't fall.

2008-10-30T17:41:00.004+08:00

From the Earliest to the Latest;

Ba & I @ Graduation Day (; Late 2007.

How time passes; how nauseating. I miss the CALs. Ness and her weird quirky actions, yet giving nature. Yuan and her stupidretarded behaviour, plus how we're ever so similar. Qian and her loudwhackyness, yet her sensitivity shows that she can be easily wounded. Halfy, my closest and my longest ever in stc, no words can describe. She's like the bestest, ever. She's my sails, in the tides. Sometimes i wonder, how she can be so strong. Its admirable. Julie, whose far away in thailand now, busy with uni life. Then there's lover, baba, dearest, bbcakes. Stc seems eons away. This isn't a reminisicing post, just felt like posting some random pictures. Its Halloween tomorrow, party @ #1/Sumay's :D Trick or treating! Hahaha. My gastric problem is being a bitch, it hits me as and when it feels like. I figure, my choice of food is to blame? Though i have no idea why. My meals are there, no lack of food, that aint possible. Haha. Managed to see a doctor for a stronger dosage of medicine. This time, hope it works. Had to miss DSS for it, dss sucks shit. But i'm determined to scrape through this module with a decent grade. I keep my fingers crossed that i'm still on the right track, this semester's gpa is going to matter alot. Mum says i'm off to a good start, hawhawhaaw. I do hope so. The projects are so gonna pile up, slowly. I'm not looking forward to any of them, at all. Gahh.

Oh by the way, i need macroeconomics textbook ): ANYONE? I'm actually quite glad i didn't give school a miss today though i did wake up with a awful stomachache yet again. Lecture was by LeeEK and he's a pretty engaging lecturer. Too bad he isn't 04's tutor (i so cannot get used to calling my class 04. HAHA.) MAEC tutorial later on. The class was in a frenzy, snacks and tidbits were thrown to everyone from every corner. Rico was being a bird whilst he came back repeatedly for Deanna's wormsweets, Justin begged for forgiveness when he rejected my sweet at first (wtfook, LOL), but everything ceased when JNathan started on the tutorial. Cheryl and Wenqi were out to irritate me, HAHAH. Purposely bought a cup of ... -.- during lunch. I complained that it wasn't salty enough, my dearestwenqiiiii knew. HAHA. How she did, i have no clue. Cheryl gave me two c on stick, as gifts. How really generous of her =.= HAHAH. Tutorial was packed, 03 joined us for makeup tutorial thats why. They evacuated when he finished the tutorial, 04 stayed behind to do classwork. I went off after that, plus tutorial ended an hour early :D Hawhaw. Oh and i cut my hair! Even bumped into Honey downstairs :) Oh yes, my hairrrr. Its so much thinner and layered now. At least it doesn't looked screwed.. when i decided to DIY. Haha. And yes, i have straight fringe -.- Bbm laughed.

Sheryl: Huh? Nope we don't. Do we? I did see your other messages but i have been a little preoccupied so replying you kept slipping out of my head. Hope school's been treating you good.
Qaiser: What halal mutton, you're seriously confused. Hahahah. And we haven't finished talking today! Is tomorrow (typical fridaybreakfasts but no breakfast -.-) still on? Thanks for checking up on me last night ya. Hoho. Blood donation drive, how was it how was it! Hahah.

Karthi: Snaaaaail. Hahahaha :D Thanks alotttttttt, i'll keep that in mind -.- Of not being a hero when i'm not. Haha. I'm on my way, to recovering and getting back to my eagle-form okay. I haven't given you snails on msn for very long, do remind me next time. Hahah! You and your incessant tapping. I KNOW ITS YOU OKAY. HAHHA. Don't deny, i throw _ at you uh! Hahaha. I want those festivegoodies ehhhhhh, you owe me. HAHA.
Fann: Helllohelllo :D Birthdaytwin mannn. Hahaha.

Too early to tell, too preoccupied to bother. True to the heart :)
*PS. I revamped my Haloscan! Click on TRASHYPARADES & leave a message :D

2008-10-29T12:28:00.003+08:00

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray.

I hate wednesdays, bloody 2hour breaks. Woke up at 5am today, with a sudden bout of gastric. Collapsed in the kitchen and i felt horrid ttm. Forced myself to go to school when the onslaught of rain/showers from 630 to 730 made me so tempted to sleep in. Dad was sick, so i had to go to school on my own. With the freaking thick DSS text, laptop adaptor and laptop in my hands, i trudged out. And the journey was terrigible. I sat in 61, with the seat handles in front of me grossly coated with.. dried up vomit. Wtf luh, damn gross. Thankgod it didn't emit any smell and so, i wasn't on the verge of puking yet again. Was messaging Wenqi all the way the poor girl also had much to carry all the way to school. Plus she's having a match later on, so she had her shoe bag and ball too. Met Qaiser, Karthi and Cheryl at the busstop. Wenqi came, we went to get water from Canteen 1. Dss was a bore, screw the internet connection. I couldn't go online the whole lesson, Adeline and Bram also. Cornee called me for a while to accompany me though the only thing i recall, is the msn live thing. Okay, gotta run! BYE. Blaw tutorial, wheeee.

Confusing, confusing, confusion.

2008-10-27T12:35:00.007+08:00

I vomitted 10 times last night.

Just taking a mere sip of water, would make me throw up like a merlion in a matter of minutes. Trust me, the acid burns the throat like mad. And i have tried taking more than just 2 or 3 sips, the ending result is still the same. My body aches like mad, i had to ask Zhixin to punch my back for me. I barely slept, waking up at 4.45am in the morning to bathe out of the blue isn't something everyone would do isn't it? I have 10 awaiting comments, wha. Haha. I hope i'll be able to recover fast, i don't plan to skip tomorrow's lessons cause there's like 3 lectures and 1 tutorial. Missing out would mean i would really be trailing behind. So i was looking back at my past posts cause the tags caught my eye. Its a wonder how the human brain works. I wiped them out straight clean from my memory, reading them feels like its the first time i'm recalling back on these incidents. The past is gone, might as well let the wind chase the memories out to sea. And guess what, i'm pretty happy with how things are like now (: Thankgod. Before i enter into one of my constant and many ramblings, i'm gonna end here. My head hurts like fug, i'm off bye.

Replies to tags;

Ness; Hello :D Reallly? -.- Pfft. I hope you are enjoying yourself in perth! Miss you ):

Baba; Eh wth -.- HAHAHA. Newly single, want? HOHO. Yes, must! Tell me wheeeen. This whole week, i end super late uh. Cause monday lessons are pushed forward. But we all must still meet! Lemme knw if you're dropping by Ngeeann or smtg.

don't tell me i'll make it on my own.

2008-10-26T01:19:00.004+08:00

Unglam ttm.

Congrats uh, Blackboy/FavCousin.
Commando Camp; ORD (: No more NS, no more nightduty, no more thailand/brunei/etc, no more going back to camp from bishan just cause of one missing equipment, no more botakhead, no more whatever. I'm happy that you're happy that you're out. Whooo. Hahaha. More details, visit Zhixin's blog. All the pikchures there too. And i cannot snitch them. Whatthefook. I want the shots hor, teozhixin. Hahaha. The ones that i took with you, the rest heck. Hahaha. Especially since, i spammed like how many using yeezhang's cam. Newton Circus for the after-parade celebration. Seafood, likea shiok. But the previous time was bettttter, i feel. Haha. My date with Boyf today was :D Haha. But the sun was a bitch, freaking sweltering heat. We were burning like roasted marshmallows under the damned sun, but we were in black not white like marshmallows. The fruits weren't that great, only managed to get one item. Hopped over to Heeren then to FarEast and Wisma was the final stop. I got what i needed, even snitched a few extras just to make myself happy :) What a shopaholic, i know.

Anyway, Bbm fell asleep without me. If you ever read this, keel yourself ): You horrible vegetable shit head, curse you to fall down then you know. Oh did i mention, Bbm saw me at the busstop taking pikchures when he was on the bike. Like whatthefooot. He called me at the traffic light whilst he was still riding on it-.- Just to laugh at me, cause i didn't see him at all. Not even a single glance. Whalao, angry. I cursed him, and he really injured himself :/ Ohmannnn. Sorry, i wouldn't curse you. But tonight you too much luh, never say sleep then sleep -.- Then zhixian how, over here in the weehours of the night at 1.35 am. And my nose is killing me, my headache is maddening. Tomorrow how to go out like that ): whalao. I'm going to bed, nights world ): Stupid monkey, you OWE me.

mixedmixedmixeddddd.

2008-10-24T16:19:00.003+08:00

So i was such a smartass. I wanted to snip off parts of my fringe, ended up with bangs. And Bbm laughed at me whilst encouraging me to cut bangs cause he thinks... it would look nice on me. He says it was fine, but i do pity his ears. He had to hear me complain the whole entire day. I sound like a bloodybrat ): I feel likea bowl still luh. Met Qaiser, Marcus and Waicheong in the morning. I saw my halfy too :D Yay. Then LMS later on @ 10am. Our video's storyline is decided on, yay dope. I have weird comments from people in my class, say they like my hair -.- and i'm a interesting person? Lol. Other comments too. Looked for the rest at Canteen 1 after class. Bumped into Qaiser and Adeline in the queue. Adeline told me they were ALL waiting FOR ME. Like wtf. Even Nick told me that when he called me whilst i was on my way down from Blk 53. I think they were disappointed when my hair didn't turn out like a mushroom or like dora. David, Nick, Weiling, Marcus, Bruno and everyone else said its okay. Though its slightly crooked.. /: I'm too stubborn uh, i insisted it looked bowl-ish. Qaiser pointed to the freakin' yongtaufoo bowls and saucer. He's confused, seriously. Haha. Waicheong's a loser, he can't play the clapgame that Marcus and I could. Walrusssss, ttm. Brain like a pea only. Hahaha. Everyone slowly left then Nick, David, Marcus, Marcus, Waicheong, Khai and I went to Ourspace. They had boardgames day today :D So we chose Kill the Bunny. Cause Nick's a frigging BUNNY. HAHAHAH. Stupid game, objective was to collect carrots. Nick left for class half way, we played on, Waicheong won cause he wiped out everyone's rabbits and collected all the carrots -.- Wtfreak. Marcusred, Khai and I left afterwhich. David went for lessons, the others went to the street soccer court. Went opposite with Khai, left for home. I'm rushing out now, off to my cousin's ORD (: I bet being released from NS never felt so good. Hahahah. Will blog again, when i'm free. Out.

2008-10-22T12:26:00.002+08:00

Hello World. I'm currently in Ourspace, with Weiling Bram Adeline Alia. Everything's diffferent, wednesday breaks suck luh. Only 04 has 2hours break, 05 and 07 both end at 1pm. Which means, Karthi Qaiser Wenqi Cheryl Bruno Jiachuan & everyone else gets to go back at 1pm. I think i've said this countless times, but i'm still :/ Hahah. I guess we'll slowly get used to it. Deanna's coming back soon, she went out for lunch. Next lesson's Law @ 1pm, so i have roughly 10mins left before we have to start packing up cause we're in the lounge. So i guess i'll probably update later today, since its tutorial later and i think Blaw's interesting :D Haha. I miss 01 luh, we went for lunch @ SIM today. And it felt so different, this time just 5 of us when it used to be like 12 or more. Pffffft. Ohwells, next week we'll be spending two hour breaks with others from the same class. Prolly cause we're all not familiar with each other, thats why we're all still quite distant. Nevermind, tomorrow will be better! Haha. Oh and Bbm's working now. Thanks for waking me up, at 630 sharp with a goodmorning message -.- Hahaha. Though i did get quite a shock cause you're supposed to be sleeping all the way till 8am. Anyway, i'm pretty tired. Today's a draggy day, only good thing's seeing the rest this morning. Haha. But Karthi was hungry, he kept talking about... Yknw what you were talking about k, snail. Haha. Cheryl also, another one. Hawhaw. Wenqi didn't come in time to disturb. Khaidan just came to the lounge to look for us. And and, i'm colourful today! Bbm agrees, right? HAHA. Ohemgee, everyone's napping now luh. The chairs are too comfy, only Weiling and I have our eyes opened. Today's post is pretty aimless, i just needed something to do. Plus, someone's too busy to entertain me. Hawhaw. Awright, off i go. Before i go, replies below(:

Conrad: Hahahah. Cause i am cool. HEEE. Anyway, see you during POA tutorial! Your flashbox takes ages to load, in school. Idk why, hawhaw.
Anon: Who are you. I don't answer personal questions posted by unknown taggers.

I'm just another writer,

still trapped within my truth.

2008-10-20T20:51:00.005+08:00

Hi, wandering thoughts.

Why would I go on a search again.

When I know what the end will be.

What good is it, if it keeps on hurting.

So i spent some time letting my mind go astray. Today's a good start to a new week ahead (: Thanks Bbm :D for accompanying me on the phone from 0630 in the morning to 3plus in the afternoon, and even ignoring me on msn when my classes were in session. You annoying boy, you made me want to keeel you. But yeah, thanks ;] Even though you were clearly tired, having not slept since 1am. Now someone's out, galivanting luh. I do envy, the life of those so happygolucky. I got home earlier today, in comparison to the other days in the week where by i wouldn't be able to do so. I like getting back when the sun's still high up in the noonskies, and dozing off if i'm drained. Its probably cause i've kinda cultivated the habit of getting back early. I recall how it would take me less than 10minutes to speed home from Stc the moment school ended. But if i do go out.. i'd come back when dusk has long fallen. HAHA. What extreme timings. And to think about it, i never knew cutting through Shihao's block from my block is the fastest way from my place to Stc. What shit, i just found out this year. And he laughed in my face. So did my Sist. I lose, handsdown. I would probably reach home like in 8mins instead -.- HAHA. Its amazing how i'm really so oblivious to my neighbourhood after living here for close to.. 10 years? HAHA DOPE.

My thoughts are so tempting.

I don't know how it got so bad.

Mutton's question did cross my head today, when he asked me that randomly during lecture. Appreciate the fact that you were tactful, thanks brudderrr. Haha. I did ponder over it before. But guess, i decided that thinking more about it wouldn't give me the answer anyway. Puts doubts in my head, when actually i'm doing my best to not be too bothered. I'm pretty pessimistic i suppose, i still insist there isn't anything on the other side. I also think that happy times don't last for long, so i am afraid of being too elated at any point of time, for fear that it would soon slip out of my grip and into oblivion. I guess it happened too many times. I'm afraid i would regret, thus i'd try my best to seize the day by its wings. So for now, there's not much that i can do apart from going along. Main thing's that i'm happy with how things are aye? As human beings, we have endless wants. I can't have everything that i desire and want, just like how i wouldn't mind having my questions answered. But since that isn't within my ability, and i don't require it desperately, i'm satisfied for now. (: We'll just see how the tides drag me along in time to come. I ought to go, need the loo quite badly. Haha. Goodnight readers.

Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt.

2008-10-20T09:48:00.006+08:00

Stupid picture, i look like a fool. HAHA. See, Chups is borrowing my hair for this snapshot if you're looking at the pikchure close enough. Anyway, blaw lecture is in session now. But i'm reallly, bored. And i have nothing to blog about, so i have no clue why i'm here. This is for someone special :) Cheerups, be happy & smile k. I like to hear you chatter and laugh like a moron on the phone, complaining that i bully you when actually in reality, its the other way round. Haha! Awright, shan't make you confused. Don't falll ill, from lack of sleep, else i keel you. Swear! HAHA. Karthi, the stupid snail keeps tapping me and looking away. You idiot, i know you read my blog. Don't sad uh, about your bestfriend. Haha. And we've been having break for like 15minutes already, Karthi says thunderstorm coming today just cause Qaiser went down to ask the Lecturer a question. Dope, make me laugh only. I'm seeing my Halfaye for lunch later, yay me. Ohmygawd, Bram just woke up. Shithead, always late, that numlocker. Stupid Wenqi, now the rest also call me that nickname. For no reason at all -.- Especially, the snail. The king of snails, lol. Everyone's concentrating hard, i think i'll need to do extra amount of work later on tonight.

If i could clear my doubts, i would do so this instant. Perhaps its the fact that there are much that one doesn't know about, that makes everything so interesting. Wouldn't it be really uninteresting if you knew every thing. Then again on the flipside, i don't want to know everything. I just need my answers, to certain queries. I need explanations, which i'm quite confident wouldn't come any soon. So predictable, yet so unpredictable. The irony exists. My thoughts run, like a windmill. They never cease, only seem to accumulate. Like the nine layers cake, coloured disorganised and thick. I can't believe i just said all that chunk of nonsense. Ponder over it, if you're of the same wavelength as me and if you can actually understand what i'm rambling about. Yeah, i can see Karthi telling me that i'm confused. Now he's talking about tea, what shit luh you snail. -.- you confused k. Talking to yourself, 'beeeez nusss' (business). Awright, i'm off. Dss later and then my day's over. Yay me. Out, bye.

My daily tarot sent to my email;

The Two of Swords card reversed suggests that letting down your guard to make an impulsive connection could release sexual tension or break a relationship stand-off, or it may precede a romantic reunion, infatuation or confrontation. While you might think that taking the first step is beneath you, you can make a move while still being respectful of your own feelings. On the contrary, efforts to remain distant, anonymous or indifferent may not work once admissions are made, blinders are removed or previous hurts are recognized or overcome. You may be too close to the situation to view the matter objectively. (!!) Listen to the voice of reason and see the truth.

Miss Tb01. Marcus talks to me, and he's two seats down. Qaiser uses Marcus's laptop to talk to me when he is next to me -.- Then Weiling whose three seats down, next to Marcus, uses his laptop to tell me that she'll kill my carebears ): And karthi is irritating me when he is right behind me. HAHA. And Qaiser just said im updating during every single second of my life. OMG. LECTURE OVER. GOODBYE, YAY YAY YAY. HAHAHAHAHHA. What miss who luh, you stupid snail & mutton. Omg, zi high. Bye.

2008-10-19T22:50:00.005+08:00

I finally got my blogskin done. I did it myself, hawhaw.
I took a long time, just trying to perfect the html codes and align the boxes. Time passed really quickly, its late already. I should head to bed, like soon. I'm exhausted.

Bbmonkey's sleeping since afternoon, what a peeeg. He deserves the rest though, after an all nighter. But still. The laksa thing was major, i want to laugh whenever i think of it. -sniggles.
Tomorrow's the start of a brand new week, tutorials would be in session this time. Man.

/: major bummer. I think i ought to run, update another time. Out.

i think too much, every time.
i think too much, all the time.

lolli lolli, let me see you pop that body.

teeeeehee.

2008-10-18T08:10:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was epic.

Met the classmates from LMS class. Khaidan and I are in the same IS class again. What luck, sista. Haha. I don't know much to comment on the class, so let's just skip that. I intended to go home, then Yuan dropped me a text stating that she's at Ngee Ann when i was already reaching Queensway. Haha. Last minute decision to visit my Grandma. Lunch was there, i think we both talk nonstop. Though its in a mixture of my horribly broken chinese and her chinese + dialect. Most importantly, we could understand each other. HAHA. I went home after that, showered before waking Shihao up -.- I took close to 10 calls to wake him up from his beauty sleep, last call was to his house so it was most effective. Stupid monkey fell asleep in the midst of messaging me. That just shows how great a companion i am over texts -.- Took a bus down to Serene Centre. Met up with Half and Yuan. They started pigging out already, i resisted and waited for Chups and #1. Hahah. We had fresh banana, 500ml tub cause Baba was insistent. In the end, last man standing was Sumay. She still attacked it whilst the rest of us gave up and talked. Shopped for movies then for food + drinks.

Sumay ate a expired kinderbueno. Like gross ttm only. Chupsie went to help her change upstairs, the whole box there was expired luh. And all of us were frantically checking all the other food we bought (poptarts, ruffles, doritos, pods, ...) like aunties. Lol. We zigzagged through the vehicles when the redman was on, screeching and laughing like maniacs. High on air. Then watched the buses almost collide, zhixian kept getting shocked every single minute. Ba scared me like how many thousand times, she pointed at the bus and i thought there was some lizard/cockroach on the floor or smtg. Screamed like a hyena. Awright, back to blogging. Fyi; I vanished for 2hours, for the phone. Haha. Bbm's the best, he woke me up from my beauty sleep. Then proceeded to make me look around for my spectacles, before glancing out of my living room/balcony window just to catch a glimpse of he + his friends waving to me from Henderson Waves. -Laughs. Actually, i can't see much, but i could see Bbm's hand frailing frantically in the air. Plus the sound effects in the background, via the phone. Funny ttm. After 15mins, when i looked out of the window again randomly, the sea of darkcolours was gone -.- Hahaha. All probably went back to sleep.

Ohkay, then i was saying. I tricked Half, #1 and Baba in my MADJACK joke. Cause we were heading to Madjack to meet Puiz. They all fell for it, Ba was the fastest to react though. She's a fast madjacker, hahah! Realize Nsm is always the last to get it, cause i think i talk too fast. Haha. Ohmytian, funnny. Selfhigh. Walked over to Sumay's. Pounced on the bed, Puiz and Half fell in love with it. Haha. Dinner downstairs, everyone kept attacking the niangao dish discreetly. Movie afterwards, Prince & Me :D Wha dope, i was the only one in my own fairyland dreaming and following the entire story/plot. In the meantime, Puiz passed out on the bed cause she took too much alcohol. Who the pong doesn't stir the drink when like, the alcohol's on top and the orangina is below? She's damn dumb. Haha. We camwhored like crazy, close to 300 pix? Idk the exact number, Ba's supposed to send the pictures to us. Though i don't know why. Cause its Nsm's Mac. Haha. We spent damn alot of time on pictures, all kinds of disgusting shots. Laughed until i couldn't breathe, nor talked. Taupok plus ReallyLaughingOutLoud shots, GuitarHero HAHA. Ohemgee, we left at close to midnight. Puiz took the bus back with me, i caught the last 131 coming from Bm Interchange. Yay me. Hahaha.

I'm damn tired still. And i kept laughing on the phone just now, since yesterday luh. Its quite horrid. Plus i have this slight throbbing headache thats so irritating. I'm gonna run, goodbye world. I think i need more sleep, plus i have undone tutorials. Which i have to rush tmrw, or today if i have the discipline. Goodluck to the olevel studns :) I miss my bellie, loverlover where are you mannnnn. Oh and then there's Vanyo, my boyfriend. Haha. I have much to rant, on a daily basis. She's such an angel, seriously. How can one listen to yourstruly ratter and ramble nonstop so much. I think its humanely impossible and torturous. Yes, i'm sure many suffered too. Haha. I'm off, sleepsleepsleep is beckoning me. Out. Foryou♥ Its hard, but do stay strong. I'm here always, and i'll always bug you to go out and meetup just to see you laugh. I still have my story to tell you yknw. He's up there watching you, so smile, cause its only then that he would too. Luv you, bange.

Replies to tags!
Weiling: Wah. I better not bring my babies to school anymore. For fear that i might be risking their lives anytime that i leave my bag unattended. Omg. HAHAHA. Luvyou, i know you can't bear to do that to me. HAHAH.
Tequila: Hey, i got it from hongkong :)

Bcause youre beautiful.

2008-10-15T23:09:00.002+08:00

@Breko's with Wenqi :)

Sentosa with theLoves :) & Carebear.
Mind you, thats a pouch. Not underwear. Hawhaw.

I miss you, ):

First week of School's closing to an end. Its been pretty much of a breeze because of the absence of tutorials this week, thus next week would be tougher and more hectic. First day was tiring, i could barely keep my eyes open and in addition, my moodiness seemed to be trudging behind me everywhere this entire week. Perhaps its the school blues, i'm still pretty stuck in the holiday mood though i daresay its getting better, i'm actually beginning to not live in denial. Haha. Cold rock with my dearest Wenqi was a impromptu idea, seeing that i can be really fickle if i feel like it. I like my combination, Wenqi says hers was a little weird. Weird like her, laughs :D Then we cafe hopped a few shops down, to Breko's. Had a mini feast, she has a odd fascination with taking pictures of food. But she aint the first i know who likes doing so. Haha. We talked, she kept making me fall into her traps -.- Yellow traps filled to the brim with salty corn right. I keeel the two of you. You know who you are, #2, you stupid mutton. Hahah. But Bruddermutton's been great luh (thanks!), in dealing with my abrupt mood changes. Kudos to him, hawhaw. This week only k, next week we shall have our full force battle. You lossserrr. Hahah.

Took 75 and then we switched to 195. She stays super near me, like walking distance (: A short three stops away, where each stop's distance from the next is realllly short. Haha. -hops around happily. At least, i don't feel as though i'm living away from everyone who seems to reside everywhere except for the southwest. Haha. There's Khaidan too, i haven't forgotten my sister. Haha. My date with Lover went smoothly as well, i missed her way too much. She's like a part of me that i can't do without, with her i feel at ease spilling and gossiping about everything under the sun. We went back to our same spot @ tiong and updated each other. She's always awesome in listening and providing niblets of her opinions, which matters. Then at certain pauses in our conversations, she would reveal her lame-o self and make me roll my eyes whilst she squeals in laughter (which is reallly stupid looking) Hahah. Then i'll just stare at her, and laugh. Her various sentences always gets imprinted in my memory. "i think yall wouldn't drift even after a long time." did give rise, cause i am quite fearful of losing contact/drifting. Today's catch sentence, that she uttered made me.. hopeful?

Sentosa with Chups, Sumay, Half and Yuan on Sunday (: I had fun, bet my Carebear did as well. HAHA. I was the third to reach, (Chups plus Sumay were superduper late), thankgod i have patient friends. Hahah! I spent the longest time under the sun, and my tan's barely there. There's the markings on my skin, true enough, but i think i didn't tan long enough. We used the beds @ Coasters, burning our skins and soles of my feet literally. Screaming and scampering everywhere was a common sight. Baba and I were disgusted with the blackish oil-like substance floating on the sea surface. It was definitely not our tanning oil because the last i checked, it wasn't black like Baba. Haha. We drenched ourselves with clean water before heading back to Coasters. Sumay was happily eating under her sheltered side of the bed. Baba had terrific shorts tanlines. Yuan left early to meet Jack. The four of us later on had late lunch @ thaiexpress. Candy empire after that, then we walked around a little before we all went separate ways for dinner elsewhere. That concluded the last day of my holidays before school begun on monday. I realize, i do jump all over the place. Ohwells, just get used to it and it'll do. Haha.

Maybe Wenqi is right, i am confused. But sitting on the fence seems to be the best option as of now. Falling towards one side, might be a little too risky in my opinion and i think its too early to tell. Yall are right when you say, the future's uncertain and anything can happen/is possible. So i'm just awaiting for the future's unexpected twists and turns. Haha. I hope they are for the better. My thoughts do overwhelm me at times, and i guess its time i start penning them down instead of thinking too much. Thinking too far, the possibilities do scare me. Haha. I don't believe i occupy that much of the other's thoughts, thus the same act should be reciprocated. I think. Hawhaw. Oh before i forget, i bumped into Ethan in the bus today. We caught up a little and things seem pretty sunny for him (: So i'm happy for you k, kor. Haha. All the best, if you do see this. You know i'm here always, haha. Yuan dropped me a call after that, and Jack was being quite outoftheordinary. Which was a tad amusing. Haha. Awright, i guess i'll turn in already. Its kinda late, and my eyebags are already bad enough. Goodnight, bye!

I miss you, commonly uttered?

2008-10-14T22:38:00.008+08:00

i'm glad that we do understand each other.
i do apologize if i have been a little too blatant in my posts or my choice of words.
emotions do take over in a much biased state when you're overwhelmed by them.
but just like you do now, i care about her welfare and happiness.
as long as you're able to treat her well, i don't think there's much for me to disapprove of.
times are different now, just like how the world's revolutionizing and slowly evolving,
i figure i do have to accept that she's also growing up faster that i think she is.
it seems like just yesterday that she was still a turtle-like infant drooling at the sides of her mouth.
she's not one who would blindly follow her heart without any logic,
thus i know that she is adept at making her own decisions well.
i'm assured that you must be of much impact in her life, so much so that she's contrasted.
guess i don't really expect you to do anything since there isn't much to follow up on.
just be good to her, and that will be more than sufficient.
i don't need you to promise that, i'm not here to bind you to a life threatening contract.
if you would try and get to know her better before yall come to a agreement in
settling into something more serious, then that would be adequate.
I'm honest when i say that what you've posted, did somehow change a little of my mindset
and ease my skepticism. Thankyou, for understanding.
Lastly, i hope the both of you will be blissful, regardless of status as of now.
The next steps are in your hands. Yeah, both of you.

Z, i'm happy that you are aware. The above has extracts that are dedicated to you too.

I trust you, there's no need to assure me that you wouldn't act on impulse.
Any subway cookies tmrw? (:

2008-10-14T17:02:00.002+08:00

I worry for her. You can't blame me when all i can see from the surface, only increases the concern i have over her. She's young, she's blood and i don't want anything untoward happening to her. For as long as i can remember, i've had her back for ages and maybe because i do not know you personally, thats why i don't have that magnificient an impression of you from what i know and hear. Which would probably be only skin deep, but thats how it is when you see things from the surface isn't it. Before i drift out of point, she hasn't been herself as of late. The her that i know, doesn't brood doesn't lose appetite doesn't seem to solemn and doesn't appear the way she is now. I don't want her to 'change' like i quote from your post, in any other way from how i know her throughout my entire living time. She was a very sunny and upbeat minx before everything got a little too much.

Maybe if you see things from my point of view, you might comprehend that i am unnerved and very much apprehensive.

Any other lad would know that talking on the phone to the wee hours of the morning the night before a final exam would not miraculously change her grades around nor will it help circulate her brain juices so that she is able to excel further in the paper that she is going to sit for in say.. a few hours time? If you care, you will not put anything else thats crucial in her life at risk. I'm not pleased with that, but it continues. Why? I don't have the heart to nag more than a few times, and i'm sure you're old enough to know that grades and the whole hooha about having a cert in the present education system is important although the irony remains that its only a piece of paper.

Before i spew too much of my displeasure, i ought to stop only because she wants me to.

I hope you're serious about this time, and not think that this would be one of your passing numeric value in your doublefigure history (histories?). You may say it isn't my business to bother, everyone retorts with that sentence when they don't have anything to say anyway, but it is. Period. I don't dislike you immensely, i just have my doubts about you. Which includes your ability in making her happy and the small little things in my head that can't seem to transfigure into words as of now, but they would eventually. Don't misunderstand my words, thanks. Cheers.

2008-10-11T23:46:00.003+08:00

Hello, ♥

Carebear craze.

L.Wrl :) Likea cuteeee. HAHAH.

This week has been quite packed. Barely even have time to update. But well, excuses aside, i think i have been kinda lazy thus in the process, neglecting icyillusions-. I'm exhausted, tired ttm. And i think if i go on sleeping really late, my body's not gonna adjust. But sleeping hours aint much of a problem, its the full days out that kill the feet and drain the energy. Hahaha. Met Yuan on wednesday, satisfied my weird cravings which were unusually strong this particular week. Such a nuisance, i become way more fickle and there's the tendency of getting really moody at different moments. Ohwells. Had Auntie Anne's and Island Creamery over at Great World. Been like ages since we stepped there. Went absolutely fanatical over there as I fell deeply in love with Carebears. Hahaha. She was bent on the crazyidea that they plan to take over the world and are evil. Just like teletubbies. Like hello. Which part of those absurd-looking creatures can be compared to.. carebears :D Hahahah. Spammed pictures, wasn't satisfied with many. I got my carebears from tiong though, we bused down to have dinner there. Waited awhile at Sakae before we got our seats. Bumped into Vanlow there :) Yuan's dad dropped me off later on.

Out with Boyfriend on Friday. Hongkong cafe at Anchorpoint (: I've noticed i actually splurge quite a sum on food actually. Haha. Its burning a bigger hole in my wallet than what i expected. Spent a hell load of time at the stationery shop and of course, purchased quite a huge quantity. I still have yet to print pictures of those close to heart, so that i can put them up on my notice board. Shihao, i haven't forget, you monkey. You said you'll mail me your babyphoto. Like ohemgee, bigbabymonkey eh. Hahahah. Live up to the name. Took a bus over to Vivo and we walked about looking for hellopanda and pucca -.- To no avail. Dinner was at Macs. I was craving, yet again, for the new wasabi filletofish. I like :] Hahah. After which, took a bus down to Queenstown Mrt and sent Boyf off there. Since i had the time and the ability to abuse bus concession. Hawhaw. Went back, headaches are such a common occurence that i think i should slowly become immune to them. Shihao went out late for i forgot what, and then hide and seek @ mtfaber. Damn. It did sounded quite fun, from what he said. Hahahah! My stupid phone screwed up, screw the effing connection.

Today was a hell rush. Phone was still not responsive, i couldn't even send messages. All the way till like, just now? I had to call Singtel twice and be put on hold for a effing long time before they finally got back to me with their supposed hypothesis of what could have gone wrong. Cause my phone didn't work even after they told me the steps to resetting the current phonesettings. But that aside, i met theloves today :) Chups first, then Sumay. Half and Yuan next. Puiy was the ultimate, first place from the back. HAHAH. Hongkong Cafe for lunch. I love the frenchtoast there, can't get enough of it. We spent the next few hours sitting there talking nonstop and catching up on the latest gossips. Endless stuff to update each other about and our sudden/loud reactions did shock the other patrons there. Especially when yours truly was the last to hit the mango ice before the whole icecream flew off the top. Likea dope only, laughed our heads off. Finally got ourselves to stand up from sitting for hours. They practically dragged me AWAY from the CAREBEARS. How cruel. We ended up in Macs @ LuckyPlaza then at the Lime Fleamarket. Snitched alot of deals :) Cause they were closing their stores by the time we reached there. After shopping, over to Cine to catch the National Rock Band liveperformance. The littleboy, matthias (sp?) was super cool. He's damn cute luh, makes one smile when you look at him happily rocking onstage. Future heartthrob (; Dinner was at Plaza Sing, foodcourt. It was a super long day. Same people tmrw, different location. I needa go, eyes gonna shut already. Night.

Blind.

2008-10-08T02:16:00.004+08:00

Replies;
Siyuan: Yup! Haha. Okay sure :)
Chinxiang: I miss you also! Glad you're back. Love you, son!
Jamie: Goodluck for yur o's (: I miss you tooo, catch up after that.
Weiling: Ohmytian. I didn't know you'd be so fast. Don't keeeeeel me. HAHAHAH. I don't know whether to laugh or cry -.- Eh ily eh, gf. HAHAHAH. Ohwells, i have one week left before i die on the first day of the second semester. I ought to treasure my time. HAHAH.

Cfsh's a Bigbaby.
HAHAHA. Winner.

2008-10-07T18:41:00.007+08:00

Greetings. Image heavy post again, but this time (winks) Hawhaw. They are some shots taken during iDARE afterglow. At my station of course :D Hahaha. I demanded they freeze there for me to snap a picture.. in time. And if the crumb of oreo falls.. they start all over (: Hahahaha. And apart from that, i think both Xavier and Ken are out for my blood. I made them crawl/duckwalk/run back to the start numerous times. Ken was nice enough, he didn't take revenge. Just put me on his 'list' -.- Whereas Xavier was another case, he not only rubbed lipstick all over my legs. He stole my crumpler, he took it and walked off. I didn't even know. Freak. Until Amanda or Weiling shouted to me. Ohemgee. Stupid Xavier. Ohwells, shots are below :D Enjoy viewing, i'll prolly post them on idare blog soon :D HAHAH.

Taken during the last BT meeting. When we were lunching at Yoshinoya. Waicheong will keeeel me if he knows i put this up. Asshole, he calls me short like half the time. (aye, i am but he takes joy in bullying -.- sickshiittttt. hahaha) Plus instigated Qaiser the mutton to follow his lead, (in the triple dog, oops THRIPLE i meant. HAHAHHAHA. Fish) Waicheong pops cherries, LOL. Take that, succcckerrrr. Qaiser, please let Waicheong know his face is featured here. HAHAHA.

Most of the time, she stick up for me. Since i suck at talking back especially to people like waicheong, whose facial expressions would have killed my flow of words handsdown by the time i'm in the middle of my argument. So my partner would go, "why you bully my partner?!?" HAHAH. Dope. Happened with many. Funnnny. And the reason for such a close shot up aboveabove, is cause my lanyard was still around my neck. HAHA.

My station was at Istana Park. Kept changing spots around the vicinity cause either the ants were swarming around my seat or the rain chased me away to the shelter. Settled down at a spot where moving transport could see me stoning there whilst i waited for the various teams to arrive. In the midst of it, Waicheong Serene Qaiser all communicated with me via message. Short ones from Sarah and Kay also. See the similarity. We're all BTs/Station Masters -.- HAHA. Bet everyone was too bored, thats why.Shihao fell dead asleep like a log, couldn't wake up under my thousand missed calls. When he finally did, he called me when i was giving instructions on how to proceed with the lipstick tasks. Hahah! And he didn't manage to collect the lanyards nor the nametag. -stabs the nametag. Die, monkey, die. Pfft ):

Weiling and Xavier! Hahha. This picture's super real. Their group screamed at me for giving them a oreo crumb thats even smaller than my last fingernail. HAHHA. Xavier went, "you tell me how to pass this! demonstrate!" Haha. Of course, i didn't. They already knew how it went about (:

Wha. Ken was the funniest. He kept dropping it. And making me laugh like mad. He was the only one who kept dropping the oreo, over and over again. Seriously. Thankgod he didn't laugh, i would have died.

Xiankai!

Dan took my phone to camwhore when it was still... around my neck. Stupid. And ohemgee, he's gonna be in my class for the next semester. Same group for SCs as well, under Charissa's. What fate, i do believe i'm gonna suffer. Haha. Shuckss. And i still don't believe Khaidan's in my IS classes, don't lie luhhhhhh sister. If you are, i swear i'll slaaaaaap you. Hahaha.

The day ended with dinner at Plaza Sing. And then over to the Pavillion again with the remaining iDARE people. Xiyao winks like Greg, winking gives me the goosepimples. Teeeko. Greg brought martell and sapphire. Weiling was mad to even play the guessinggame with Greg. Jerry still had the lollipop that i drew on his leg till the end of the day, so he earned the nickname Jerrylollipop. Marcus's super candid, his expressions make me laugh. Waicheong's an idiot as usual. Khaidan was just being himself, nuts. I'm his bruddeerrr, he's my sistaaa. HAHAH. Took 124 back with Khaidan. I was cinderella. I reached home at the stroke of Midnight. Or maybe later. I forgot. Roughly around there i guess. Shihao entertained me best yesterday, the nonsense about Bigbaby and Hamsup. I bet he wouldn't read this, so i'm safe. Eh you, HAHAH. I'm not a B.b, you are. You, S.b. I hear always be my baby, and i think of you and your retarded words. School start how. Noone would be able to entertain me uh, time clashes. Better not forget me, i keeeel you. HAHAH.

I slept way past my normal timing today. I'm still feeling sleepy. Someone bombed my phone, complaining of inability to fall back to slumber. Only when i picked up the phone and started on my tales, then the effect was reversed -.- Sleep drug aye. What rubbish. So silly, it makes me laugh. Haw. I stayed home today, did some clearing. When i get started, its near impossible to stop. Managed to throw and get rid of dusty items in my room/closet/hanging cupboard. Then arranged my numerous accessories, dumped a number into the bin. Then i settled down, watched a recommended film. But i didn't quite like it. I'm supposed to contact Kryst at 3plus, but my procrastinating has delayed me till now. She's such a sweetheart, i'm sure she'll understand. HAHAH. I hope. School's starting, i look forward and i dread. I still haven't exchanged my textbooks yet. Ohgawd. I'm not readddddyyy. Right, i need to rush. I'm off, out.

2008-10-04T23:47:00.013+08:00

Warning: Massive Pikchures Upload.
My Nature Date with Boyfriend :D

Note; Boyf, you do know that i love you so very much right. And that, you are still beautiful to me. No matter how you think the pictures don't seem to make you look glam. Hawhaw. You can snitch, heeeeee. Awright, so here goes! Don't say i didn't warn you.

NONE ARE EDITED. AHHAHAHAHA.

TOO MANY TO EDIT.

-LAUGHS.

I followed my idol's footsteps, idol's Dora the Explorer. Don't laugh. She's way adorable, HAHAH. Ohkay, so i followed her footsteps. I carried a bapack. I haven't done so for years, yeaaarsss. Apart for the few weeks that i tried to do so back in STC. They never did last for long. But this time, i lasted the entire day! Haha what shit.

Henderson waves :)

I like this picture, Vanyo actually looks excited EH. HAHAHA.
Then this one's worh laughing at.

Wind was shit strong. Look at the damage done. Epic, baby.
Then its mood swung for the better.

I don't know what she was laughing at.

Imagine that. A clown on Henderson Waves. The show was free. Debut and Final performance. Too bad you missed out, ;]
She tried to be me. Sneaky paparazzi.
But as you can see, she failed quite terribly.
My pictures are jumbled up. Apologies, Boyf.
AND WE SAW.
A FRIEND OF MINE.
SHIHAO'S KINS.
;) Aw. Hahah!

Van was thristy. She drank from the drains.
HAHAHAH. Not.

Crazy woman.
HAHAHAHAH.

The walk up.
I like this shot also :)

Dinner was at Ajisen! We were starving. I couldn't finish my ramen. Imagine that. Cause i was busy savouring the soup and Van could finish everything. And not feel like she was gonna explode. Cause i felt that way, and i was complaining like mad. HAHA.

Nature walk with Boyf, was great. We talked, laughed at the height difference between Block 25 and Block 24 (HAHA), i tried unsuccessfully in convincing her that her hair's fine, we couldn't sit still so we ran around, i made detours whilst going up and down mt faber, we took pictures which made us look like we were burglars sneaking into someone's private property, explored Crescent Estate cause i'm such a neighbourhood noob (i know who agrees with that statement), skipped to Vivo on a bus, unknowingly yet knowingly started shopping when we were supposed to abstain from spending money which was the reason why we had the nature walk, ended up spending money on clothes from forever21 cause we gave into temptation (what greed), rounded up the date with ramen at Ajisen :D Next up, bodyshop craze plus roller necessities plus manipedi sessions to pamper ourselves. Boyf, i got the roller already! My mum bought it for me, but i'll still accompany you to get yours (: Hawhaw. I need to get the bodyshop stuff desperately, maybe tomorrow or smtg. My house's running out of bathgel, and i'm still hooked on the pomegranate scent. Which is limited by the way, so i really ought to go seize it before it runs out. Damn, so much to do so little time. Plus the idare Afterglow is on MONDAY. -faints.

Granddad's birthday today, couple of us went to brighthill to pray. Time seems as though it past so fast, when in reality it hasn't even been a year since he left us. Perharps all of us have been too busy with our own lives to stop and think back. The only one who does, i guess would be Grandma. Afterwhich, we all left and went separate ways. Visited the Converse/Everlast/Etc warehouse sale at Macpherson! Hawhaw. I barged in, following the prime example of a certain aunty (you know who i'm talking about) and went around rummagging. I didn't buy much for myself though, more for my sisters. 3pairs for the younger, 2pairs for the youngest. And one pair for me -.- They bought mostly, new pairs. I didn't, -.- I had the least stuff at the end of the day, but the thrill was there. HAHAH. Cheap thrills coming from pushing and shoving people at crowded sales. -.- Goodgracious. Then we drove down, to Anchorpoint. It was a knockout round between Hongkong Kimgary and Hongkong Cafe. The latter won cause i wanted to take a look at the billabong sale, Shihao recommended. Haha. Dinner at night was at Newton Circus :) Meeting tmrw with the BTs in Town! For the third sunday in the running? Hahah. How cute. So i'm gonna head off, settle the undecided matters before hitting the sheets. Out!

Take for granted.

2008-10-03T15:05:00.002+08:00

Burnout, i swear the load below my eyes are increasing by the second. Bodyclock should adjust soon else i'm a goner by the time school reopens. Screw holidays, they seem to disappear in a blink of an eye. And ohmytian, new semester new classmates. The mixture of dread and anticipation? I will blog again later, about yesterday's trip out mount faber. Out.

2008-09-29T11:03:00.005+08:00

♥

You're the milk to my cornflakes, sun to my sunlight (wtshit, hahaha), even oxygen to my air :) Boyfriend and I had a good laugh about it, even the photosynthesis thing also. Love you aye, Vanyo. Only you can sit through all my chatterings, listening attentively. I don't know what i would do without you, :)

Fish & Co for lunch! Hahah. I rambled, she listened. Boyf's the best, hahaha. She gives me her 100% attention, makes me feel like some storyteller at the library. Then we hit the shops after our long awaited break, away from town. Town was packed like tuna, as a result of the F1 fever thats bringing in the tourists in bulks. Even f21 had ridiculously loud tourists (hint, someblondebimbs) screeching to each other when they were less than a feet apart in distance. What severe eardrums damage. We grabbed clothes like as though we were flashback, in the mango sale during the junebreak. I managed to snitch a good steal, though the lack of cash from my wallet did burn a hole permanently. I went home close to broke, and that doesn't happen to me on a regular basis. At least i know, that i can definitely wear it during the Europe trip at the end of the year :D -squeals. The whole day was spent shopping and hitting different stores, trying and browsing. We lost track of time on a huge scale, got a terrible shock when we discovered it was 7plus. Cause we thought it was barely 5pm. Hahah. Feets were hurting, damned shoes.

Boyfriend was the ultimate doofus. Whilst taking out cash to hand over to the Cashier at He&She, i don't know how the hell she did it but she managed to accomplish such a feat. She's standing on flat ground, but she stumbled and almost fell ("woaaaaaaaaaah... HEHEHAHAHE"). Swear, it was the stupidest thing i saw. I immediately glanced at the cashieraunty to see her reaction, whilst trying to choke back my own laughter. She looked at me also, and we both burst. The aunty said smtg about her balancing skills on even ground, which i can't quite recall but it was appropriately phrased to embarrass her. Twas the climax. HAHA. She makes me chuckle at her silly antics and thats just what makes her... special -.- HAHAH. I hope you get the hidden message, vanyo. Hawhaw. Anyway we ended off the day with biscuits and tooconcentrated juice from coldstorage, mindyou, we took a hell lot of time to choose cause we were both fickle minded. Haha. Missed quite a number of buses whilst chitchatting. I walked back from Theresa Ville Busstop. It was eerily dark and silent, i practically flew home in my pumps. Only time that i didn't mind the stinging jabs in my open blisters /:

I haven't been able to sleep much nor catch up on my shuteye. Either that, its my bodyclock. Subconsciously, i'm able to wake up to monkeys calling my phone. Ohwait, its just one monkey. Strange enough, its a nocturnal chimp. -laughs. I think it wouldn't get my joke, slowslowslow. NI plus NE = Neeenaye? HAHAHA. Reminds me of Waicheong and his ohsoconfident answer. Likea dope only. BTs meeting ystd! Serene, Qaiser, Victor, Waicheong and I. We settled the meeting in a short period of time, but the date's still such a problematic issue. Rackey uppertown side, then slowly one by one, we all left. Waicheong (plus Qaiser) had to keep calling me "paper salttttttt, paper saltttttttt." outloud in Borders, when everyone else's in their own world, reading. After they located me (according to them, they couldn't cause i'm too short -.-) we walked off. They went to leypak, i looked for the sisters and mum. Bumped into Girlfriend :D Kellyn was with Xiaowei :) plus Ellery and another classmate. We must head out together yeah, bunkmate/girlfriend :) Miss the idare times, when we would do everything together.

I remember how showers were such pains in the ass, the water supply would stop half way whilst Zhixian has foamy shampoo in her hair. It would happen to every other cubicle cause either the water's being used up by the guys next door or someone's tap got ripped out and the water's gushing out from hers -.- Then the guys would pop by the girls' toilet and complain how we're using up their watersupply. Hahah! I remember shouting to qaiser, about foam in my hair and he actually laughed. Stupid mutton, in cahoots with the laughingking somemore. I couldn't hold back during Campfire, laughedoutloud when i heard his laughter. One of a kind i swear, i think its funnier than mine but the others reckon that we're on the same wavelength -.- Aye righhht. Omg i bet if he goes for Afterglow and laughs at my station, i will kill myself. -stares at Qaiser. I can't wait for Afterglow actually, but really, i can't help the dateissue. I think its reallllllly tough to decide on one and i'm hyperventilating cause time's running out... fast. Gawd, goodgame. I haven't settled the email and publicity stuff yet, will prolly do so later.

And i'm exhausted, tired but my eyes are wide open and i'm actually.. wide awake. Every morning, i bid goodnight to Shihao who eventually falls deadasleep in the midst of a oldgrandmother tale that i'm reciting. To think about it, stm is not a appropriate word to describe his memory. Its more like brainwash, he clean forgets most of the things he said -.- And we'll have repeated conversations which have existed before. I mean, how mundane. HAHHA. I recall, the I'M YOURS thing (Ohmytian, LAUGHS) as well as the other song thats currently on his FavouritesList ( it goes.. you make me craaaaazzzzy) WHA dope, he made me laugh like some madwoman and my handphone battery almost died on me cause i was too busy laughing to check the battery status/level. He has such bad memory, he should keep a diary. Hahaha. But its allright, i can live with it :) I'm the one with the amazing memoryskills (coughs) so we balance out somehow. Though it does stupefy me when he claims i'm lying when i'm seriously telling the truth. Trust ehhhh, trussssstttttttttt, remember? :) Hahahha. Awright, i need to get off, have an awaiting phonecall, bye :D

It cannot wait.

2008-09-26T22:07:00.013+08:00

♥ Babycakes.

Armed with her 2nd Farewell gift, i trudged down to Kim's. On the way there, i realize that the time we spent together on Monday before Classchalet seemed to past really fast. And though we've taken pikchures, i doubt she'll send 'em to me because she claims her hair looks horrid. There goes my last shots. Ohwellls. Simba's so cute, but it seems to be limping/walking slower. Wolfie's still the coolest, i know, biasedness. Whilst she bathed, i explored. Saw the USA photos we took together on her wall and also, the album. Went through the photos on her bed and even pounced upon a small note i wrote for her back in sec2 thats pasted on her door. (: She has tons of clothes, honest to god. If i were a thief, i would have stole all and made a fortune from selling them. She made me roll the lint from her ZaraJacket. Stupidshit. I can't believe you left already, the instance i received your boarding message, it seems surreal. ): Left to meet the Cals at Starbucks after that, i had my vanilla frap + banana muffin. Thy bombzx. Caught up with Yuan and Ness, Half couldn't make it and Qian was on her way. Spent the rest of the night, walking around and taking stupid shots. Ultra classic :) The girlfriends/daughters make me cheery even though i was pretty in my dumps, and the messages made me perk up though it also did make me feel a tad emotional. Its been a longlong day, and i practically fell asleep the moment i board any bus. I think i haven't replenished my sleep, i ought to do so tonight.

Classchalet, was ... well, unexpected. Had my fair share of fun, grocery shopping always makes me happy :) Fish & Co was the ultimate, plus the drink that Nick&David ordered topped off the whole meal. Forcing everyone to eat the potato+sourcream+saladbits was fun and though i did have some unwilling eaters plus anti-potato/anti-salad bits fans -stares at Waicheong and Conrad O.O My potato fanclub consisted of members like Adeline, Weiling, (almost all 01USUALS? :D), Jerry (whaa, he's the best. HAHA.) Of course, Nick defended himself, "i got say not nice meh." HAHAHA. Rule#1 was a good movie, kept getting shocked out of my wits + my toes were freezing like icecubes. Through the nights, Shihao accompanied me on the phone :) He calls at the weirdest and most inappropriate times. But at least he did call, reallythoughtful of him. Hawhaw. Even listened to me rant plus also lectured/advised/consoled me. And scolded me for scratching my rashes. Rawh. I can't say the chalet was all that disastrous for me, but it did have its unplanned moments and miscomunications. Plus the naviety that undesirable moments wouldn't exist. I can't be such a wet blanket and say it sucked. Every chalet i went to had an abundance of alcohol aplenty, thats nothing really. But this one had the most number of tipsy people. Moving on, i feel that negative aspects shouldn't be elaborated on. I'm not here, to pass on any unhappiness or complain. So yeah, everything's over. We all learn and move on, ya? :) I just hope that those who didn't quite enjoy themselves, would accept my apologies if it had anything to do with any nights. And for those who did, thats great :]

I'm hooked on F21 online. Plus i never get sick of shoppping. Ohemgeeeee. And oh before it slips outta my mind, Thanks Bruddermutton :) For clearing things up with me, for the longtalk by the poolside, for trying to cheerme up by streaking past in a retarded manner, for checking up on me and for being there. Though it might not have been the greatest success for a party. Oh and Sarah just asked me if you can make it on Sunday for BT meeting. Let me know or Sms her? Yeah, thanks alot. Wouldn't have been able to go through all that without you. Respect. HAHAHAH. Inside joke, you are not to reveal else i'll bbq you alive :D HEEE. Allright, i'm off. Long awaited Boyfriend Date tomorrow, my toes are giggling with excitement already. I love Vanyo, hawhaw. Okay, bye all. And lastly. Bye to Babycakes, i'll see you soon when you get back or maybe even, after a couple of years. Do takecare over there, you're loved, xoxo. I'm glad i got to see you and catchup with you. Te amo. Edit/. I remember Halfy used to tell me, she disliked people asking her the question "Are you okay?" I'm getting influenced, it gets on my nerves hell lot this holiday. I fucking don't like that question, bloody stupid, what am i supposed to say anyway. "Oh, i'm not okay." Right. Now i sound like some princess. Fuck. Excuse the rants, its with no reference to anyone in particular UNLESS you think you're who i'm referring to, then thats your problem. I know there're those who do care, thanks for your concern but i think i just need my peace, without interruptions. I'm gone.

Breathless, Shayneward.

2008-09-21T23:06:00.002+08:00

Man Utd vs Chelsea.
One all, what the shit.
Kill me now. The second goal shouldn't have happened.
SHOULDN'T. /:

2008-09-20T21:46:00.005+08:00

In loving memory of T, who left us for his creator/maker this morning 20.09.08.

Spread your wings and take flight now, you're finally free from all suffering.
Rest in peace, friend. (Everyone, please pray for him.)

Initially, the day started out fine. Brunch at WhiteDogCafe with the cousins and Mum :) Yewt and Xiuling, Eryee2. I felt like a pig, bullied Yewt into finishing my portion. He couldn't take it too. Thankgod we didn't eat at Carnivore, which was our initial plan. All of us would have died. Walked around and shopped. Last stop for me was at Forever21. Was happily trying on high skirts and pretty tops, then i received the message. My heart stopped, throat ran dry and vision blurred for that split second. Next thing i knew, i was making numerous phonecalls. We were all shocked, stunned and speechless. C was devastated, and all i could do was nothing. Talked to her for awhile before making plans with the others. Rushed home to change and was about to head out. The lift fucking broke down. I live on the top storey (25th) for godsake. After pacing for awhile, i made a decision to walk down 25 storeys. The moment i got out, the lift started working again. It was as though, ladyluck was on my side.

Took a train down with the loves, we were lamenting on what to do and what to expect when we reached there. C met us halfway, told us what happened briefly. It was really painful for her, to watch her own partner's life slip right out of her hands right infront of her eyes. I couldn't imagine just how much she had to go through. But we all had to be strong, for her. Went up, T was on his bed. They haven't brought him down yet, and honestly, it was as though it was not long ago that i saw him. Still laughing, still teasing us and still giving us weird nicknames which made us burst into laughter. He's only 21, fate plays such cruel games. He was in bed, like he's asleep but his face was.. ashen. Sat down with the others present, prayed and chanted. Left about an hour plus after our arrival time, C walked us down. Love, you're strong. I know you are, but infront of us, you can be yourself. You can let loose, you don't have to put up a front. And if you ever see this, know that we'll be there to catch you when you fall, to lend you our ears when you need to talk, we'll be there even if you don't want to say a single word at all. Remember how i promised you, we'll head to P.island together, just us? I haven't forgotten, and i still want to.

T, has fought a long battle. From the physical endurance to the mental struggle, it was twice the journey and twice the pain. If by any chance, you know that i'm talking to you, i hope you'll finally find it in yourself to let go. I hope your reunion takes place, i hope you continue to look out for C when you're up there and i hope, you know that you have been the best boyfriend C can ever have. We are all happy, that she is who she is today because of you. Its you, the first ever to make C. A cheerful and humorous girl and also, one who hasn't smiled so wide and radiant until she met you. I'm sure she thinks on the same line too. And though you may worry about her, we'll be there to watch her back as her close friends and on your behalf as well. I hope we do meet again, Rip. I haven't seen someone whose as strong as you are.

I'm done for today, i feel exhausted. Dinner was with P at Pastamania. I left right after that when she met J. The bus came the moment i set foot at the busstop, which was surprising cause most of the time, i have to wait for a really long duration. It sensed my weariness? Hah, i wish. Reached home, and here i am. I forgot to mention that i called Cf right after i phoned the loves at Forever21. You prolly wouldn't see this, but thanks for listening even though you were deep in sleep. I'll see Qaiser tmrw :D My brudder, the mutton. Hahaha. And he'll go, my sister the eagle. How cool right. Then we have, our bigbrother the snail. That rounds up three of us! Haha. Then we can prolly plan more on the chalet/attendance/events after we settle the afterglow stuff. So i'm going off now, i'm tired but i think this would be yet another sleepless night. Bye.

Omnious, foreboding. I feel like shutting out the world.

2008-09-20T00:44:00.004+08:00

Subtle and Simple.
If i had the guts and if i reallly wanted one,
this would be close to perfect.

I've been allright, hope i didn't mislead anyone to think that i'm not in any other way on my previous posts. Other than wasting time rotting and going out, there's still the planning for afterglow as well as class chalet plus the theme night to worry about. So my time's pretty packed, and my sleeping habits are still rather absurd. However, its slowly returning back to normal. My rashes, or bites, aren't going away and i had a sudden bout of rash attack when i was trying on clothes to go to the allwhites event tonight. Forgoed that thought after i raided my wardrobe cause, i'm really not a whiteperson. I've barely anything thats white, with the exception of a few pieces. Watched the nikerun telecast just now, omg i actually saw myself. And of course, many other familiar faces on national television. Goodgame. Hahah.

The mood's like a pendulum at times, the emotions burn hot and cold. Peharps, 29days are coming up to an end. Resentment, it may just burn. Haha. Don't ask if you don't understand, i blog with the slightest form of confusion thats meant to be there so that not everything is as transparent as it seems. The last thing i would want, is to explain what i'm posting. Thats redundant, and i'm not obliged to do so isn't it? Unless i feel like sharing and caring. Aw. Anyway, tomorrow's gonna be quite busy. Meeting the cousins, bufffeeeeettttttt. They just had to choose Carnivore. When i'm a avid fan of the greens, swear. Its a preference i suppose. They're out to kill me, attempts to waver my loyalty would be rather useless. I'm out, not gonna wait anymore. Anticipating, waiting? That shouldn't even take place from the start, chum.

Resentment. Blocking out. Shelled and Clammed.

2008-09-18T00:50:00.004+08:00

5 things that I want to say to 5 different people,
without stating their names.

1)you're important to me :) it doesn't matter if we no longer share the same classes, cause i'll work hard not to let things change. you wouldn't be able to get rid of my incessant teasing and ridiculous laughter that easily. hawhaw. you didn't sound as chirpy on the phone, :/ cheer up, it wouldn't be that bad yeah. though it would certainly be alot easier if you're next to me, going through with me topics that i don't understand. haha. whatever it is, all will be well. so stay positive k, cause zhixian here is :D hahah. you've been an awesome fweeennnnnn, -inserts maniac laughter. the phone convos wouldn't stop, i'll still call to make noise. hahaha! and i'm always here, when you need the ear. i'll lend you mine, i mean lend okay. i can almost hear your retarded laughter and catchphrase now. ohmymama, i need to wash my brains.

2)sometimes i do think of you on a constant basis. and wonder if everything's okay. but thats quite a redundant question, because with all the happening parties and increasing social circle, you probably have never been any better. perharps even though i do complain about how you don't look back, i do miss you time to time whenever i come across anything that reminds me of you. you never did seem to know that you're really impactful in my life. and even if everyone else in the world happens to leave you, you can always count on me to always be here. i'm quite doubtful that the gesture would be returned, but i can't help giving in to any of your requests.

3)since the start of the school term, i figured it must have been some unknownunexplanable way that made us get closer in the first place cause we weren't glue and paper when we first met. to have you with me as the school semester opened is one of the best things ever, that happened. to know that i can open up and spill everything to you and not have to bottle anything up inside, means alot to me. we can talk about anything under the sun and its amazing how we can be really serious when we discuss anything about reality, or act like preschool kids when we're laughing ourselves nuts over some random issue. with you, i don't have to be anyone i'm not. not that i try to be anyone i'm not in the first place but you get my drift. your patience and ability to listen to me rant for ages, is really admirable. iloveyou for that, and for always.

4) we fight alot, and about close to everything. but you're blood, you're more than just important. you can be headstrong and really stubborn, and your flaws are aplenty. however, you're also the only few people who would give me their honest opinions no matter how ugly your words sound, because you know i deserve to know the hideous truth. there isn't much that i need to say, but just a word of thanks for being there. be it through the previous storms or weathers that i've braved through. you can be such a idiot at times, with your horrid moodswings and grumpy tone but thats who you are, and i accept you like that. smiles do go a long way you know, and smiling more often might just rub off on your not-so-cheery attitude.

5) i've mentioned this before, i detest going after what everyone seems to lust over. i want to be one of those only few, that don't wind up like a lovesick fool. and its tough, if i think too much. and also when you can be really caring, unknowingly. how you entrust me with subtle stuff like problems and dilemmas you face, slowly build in. i find myself slowly looking out, even anticipating. i've been through that route, a thousand times and nothing good has ever came out of it. i'm sitting on the fence, i'm fighting it. because i know deep down, it wouldn't be more than whats on the surface. then again, i wouldn't hope for more. i've my reasons, i just have to get accustomned to the fact that though you certainly outstand the others handsdown, you wouldn't stay for long enough to make one sway. cynical much?

I'm done :) For the past 2days, i have only slept for a total of 6 hours. 2 hours today, and 4 hours yesterday. I don't feel the exhaustion yet, but i know if it keeps up, it would take a toll on my alreadyweak health. My voice's still low, hasn't gone back to my normal octave yet. And the rashes/bites still itch so much that it takes alot to stop me from scratching. Plus a heapload of other crap that don't even require that much of my attention anyway. But somehow, still stole the limelight from other shit. Anyway, i'm off. Goodbye.

over reliant.

2008-09-17T00:27:00.005+08:00

Via Invitation ONLY :)

Hello tb01 and tb02, theUSUALS :)

Please check out CLASSBLOG for further information on the Chalet next week as well as ThemeNight. Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait! Hahaha.

Do help to spread the word!

Banner done by YoursTruly. Thankyouverymuch.

2008-09-16T04:08:00.002+08:00

She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel.

you're blood, you're kin, you matter to me.

Today's date with Bfried was theultimate :) The date's one big perfect, sundae with chocolate sauce and cherry ontop. I can't ask for more, my bfried's the bomb yo. Haha. Started off the day as usual. I always end up running for the bus, they are way too eager to head off without me. Imagine me flailing my hands like a headless chicken whilst i practically slide down the long flights of steps just to get there. All worth it, for my Boyf! Haha. I took a slow walk there, not knowing that she has alighted already. I couldn't be happier when i recognized that familiar pair of feet and slipons from far. Hawhaw. Happy? Movie later on in about half an hour's time. The many preteen girls inside irritated me to no end. You know all those bloody shitass annoying advertisements that remind you not to talk loudly in the cinema and also, switch off the goddamn phone or put it to silent mode. None of them flashed before the movie. Fuck, suffer like shit. Ring ring nonstop, ringtone kns also. Then the screeches and wails (i'm certain it wasn't supposed to sound like a wail but it did, to me) had to be constantly blocked out. Oh-holy-prata, i thankgod for giving me the patience.

We walked and i talked her ears off. I hope they didn't bleed from all my incessant rattles. I was telling Boyf how much I enjoyed iDARE ttm. And the different campfire acts. Including Khaidan and Greg's striptease -coughs. It came from Tiko, what to do. R21 baby. Hahah. Forgot to mention. Results like shit. I have Bs and Cs, plus one AD. Even the final appearance of that grade couldnt save my gpa. Gawd. Next semester, i need to mug hard. Back to today's date. We spent time walking everywhere and only settled down for dinner at 8plus at Suntec. Sat down and we caught up :) Talked for wayyyy long and lost track of time. Even at the train station, we couldn't separate cause we couldn't stop talking. Ohmaigawd, funny. I look forward to the next, Bfried! With Serena Husb too. Hawhaw. Boyf's hair looks different, but its far from not-nice. So don't be silly, you itchyhandbaboon. Leave the hair alone, hahah. You know i love you no matter what. Even if i smell like the zoo -.- or even if you look like you live there. Yay me. Ohkay i'm off, still have to wait for a phonecall. Yawns.

To Anticipate is like waiting for the rain in a drought.

Never Anticipate. They disappoint.

2008-09-14T13:51:00.002+08:00

It used to be laughter in conversations.
Now its just me, and my constant glances at my phone.
I should thank god i haven't fallen as yet.
Mcflurry, come to mummy.

2008-09-12T09:45:00.001+08:00

Today's Horoscope; "Your dreams reveal not only hopes but also your fears when it comes to dating. Pay attention to certain patterns that keep cropping up in your sleep. Your subconscious is trying to tell you something." Righttttt, in my sleep?

BACK FROM IDARE :)

Camp was damn dope. Haha. The activities were superb. Jetskii FTW :D Read Qaiser's blog for the full breakdown of day activities, although we were in different groups. Hahaha. Nightwalk was great, chatted with Kellyn and pranked other group campers by making them believe we were the SFs at the last station. Hawhawhaw, super funnny. Kellyn was my bunkmate, and shes way awesome. Love that girl ttm, wouldn't have been able to survive through camp without her at all. Charissa and Yvonne were the other two babes in my group, and all four of us bonded really well. Though they were year3s and we were year1s, but all's cool. Cause Charissa can be such a bimbo and she brings the laughter, Yvonne's the careful/gentle/sweet one. Kangjie and Mervyn called me HALF a-man. I don't know where the other half went to.. -.- Dan's a retard, he makes me laugh and he can get damn high too. Runway partner (: Though i screwed up, x: Noel's the monkey, he jumped and hopped around everywhere nonstop during trekking and then still complained that i act like his mother. So i acted like one for the rest of the hike. Haha! Royston and Weijie were great as well. Tecksheng was Double O (ourGroup)'s StudentFacilator! SF for short. Hawhaw. He founded the island/lost/unfound thang, made us get high and laugh like mad. Ohkay, so maybe i was the only one who had a hilarious laughter (yeap i know -.-) and thats why they laughed but still. I'm not the only one k. (stares at Qaiser) HAHA.

Jetskii was the bomb, i rode with Tecksheng. He's the safe driver, i was the reckless one. He said if he was my driving instructor, he would give me 2demerit points -.- Wtp. Haha. I flew the jetskii over the waves LITERALLY! And flew past the waves so fast, that i couldn't see cause the sea water was in my eyes. So swift that Tecksheng was screaming and screeching, like a banshee. Hahaha. I was screaming too, from the thrill. Hoho. Ended the whole thing by swerving left and right continuously, tecksheng stumbled outta the jetskii with a stunned expression. HAHAH. Damn funnnaye. Droved the ATV with Kangjie, i kept shrieking and laughing at everything. Hahah! High elements, The Challenge Pyramid was :D We were the first team to ascend it on that day, and teamwork seriously paid off. The flying fox was the sex, jumping off was the best. Undescribable feeling, talk about cheap thrills. Haha. Paintball was allright, i was the last one standing. But lost to Kangjie who had longer legs so he could run back faster. Stupid. Hahah. Angel and Mortal, hahahah. I dropped Melvin my mortal, gummies/notes/fruits and watched his expression with glee and amusement. Hahah! And my angel stunned me. With vanilla pocky, by sending messengers to my room with letters and fruits. Shit you, Qaiser. Hahaha! He's my angel luh, bloody mutton, deceived me. Hahahaha. But thanks bruddderrr (: For listening to me ramble and complain also. For being there basically. (:

Campfire was fun, Double O went high. We were in our colourful/soccerlike/hockeylike getup, blue highsocks yellow shirt red loudhailer yellow wristband red ikeapillow and we were all ready to rolllllll. Hahah. For the friendship dance, danced with only a few people. Like, jiajie noel melvin greg and i forgot already. Jiajie surprised me, he was damn high -.- He actually really danced during his group's performance, i gave him my loudest cheer and applause. HAHA. I bet all the 01usuals did, dope shit. Pink shirt and suspenders somemore ayeeeee. Haha. And he had a twin at camp, called Jiajia. Hahaaha! Ohkay, sorry to disappoint, name's Melvin not Jiajia -.- And i don't know how he knows i 'CRUSH' Jiajie. Damnit, from the start of the polyterm till now, there are still people who think i REALLY crush Jiajie. Like ohmygawdd. (i think i need a manicure) Hoho. I already did, (have a manicure) Hahaha. Shit, i feel stupid, scratch the last few sentences. Greg's an idiot, he painted my toe nails black in the dark when i was sleeping. Paint until like shit, looked as though my nails were rotting cause the polish was so uneven and.. gross. Haha.

I won Best Trainee, omg. Hahaha. Trainee meaning Camper. I didn't expect it, cause i didn't know they had such a award. Thanks Tecksheng :) Each group had one BT (best trainee) and we'll be organising the afterglow event for idare :D Yay, i look forward to doing so. Haha. Qaiser won also! No surprise there, the loud mutton was really enthusiastic. iDare was super fun, filled with ups and downs, laughter, experience and everything one would look forward to in a camp (: No torturous late lightsout nor horrible morningexercise, everything was just right. Sfs and Ssfs deserve their due credit [; After arriving back in Singapore, dropped my parents a call and went for dinner with some idare people. The Sfs, Ssfs and a couple of Campers plus BTs. Mum picked me up after that. I went for a mani pedi session today, waxing also. I feel clean, my toes no longer look horrid -.- Met up with Dearest, we walked and talked :) Ily ttm k, Isabelle :D See you realllyrealllly soon ya. Ohkay, i'm going over to Kryst's tonight to sleepover :) Blog another time then, goodbye!

Too sweet. I'm gonna lost a mcflurry to boyfriend.

But i'm positive, hurricane wouldn't stay.

2008-09-07T21:21:00.004+08:00

After my picture fades and darkness has, turned to gray.

Watching through windows, you're wondering if i'm okay.

Secrets stolen from deep inside. The drum beats out of time.

Back from Hongkong :D It was a great trip, shopping was fruitful. I went nuts at H&M, i bought an entire suit i swear. The black sneakers was a steal, Sist got the exact same pair but in white. Uniqlo was a little disappointing, not much to purchase after visiting two outlets. Pacific Coffee Company ftw, we had that almost every day. Nightmarkets and alleyshops at Mongkok were the bomb, dizzy with excitement. And bagpacks were available everywhere in mongkok, crazy shit really. Oh and the hotel we stayed in, Panorama Hotel, was awesome. The bell attendents are super attentive, they greet the guests and open the doors everysingletime. Yup, every time. And they never fail to have a wide smile. Good service, baby, this sets them a milestone apart from the other hotels. And the rooms were even more.. fantastic. The towels are either in black or white. Bedroom slippers too. And the view's gorgeous. So way high up luh. Can prance around the room naked without people sniggering at you from the buildings opposite. Hahaha! So high, zhixin was scaredstiff. We even visited the top skygarden. Mum was clutching my hand with a death grip, it was deadhigh. Hahah.

Bintan tmrw! Idare Camp :D I can't waitttt. My group people are great (: 'm sure this camp would be filled with spankinggoodfun. HAHA. I didn't know where that came from. Cheesy ttm. But yeah, you get my point. I'm all packed, cause i'm so paranoid so i need to settle everything early. Haha. And i miss sohlinsin eh, my babyboy. Hahahaha. Random but yeah, i miss the rest also. Huiyan, Phyllis, Kimchick, Sharene, etc. Everyone's everywhere now, ): I miss phyllis aloootttttttt. I want to see theUSUALS also! Chalet, hurry come to mummy. HAHAHA. Precious, you're not forgotten. Boyfriend alsssssooo, our date = wayimportantday :D So many people, that i need to see/meet/catchup. At least i get to see Qaiser, Weiling, Jiajie, Marcus, Khaidan, etc tomorrow. Exciteddd :) Hahah. And i need to rush to the toilet, so i'm off. Goodbye! :D Will be away for the next 4days odd. (:

Ladies' man.

2008-09-03T09:57:00.004+08:00

Nike + Human Race FTW.

I got a first class ticket to a night all alone. And a front row seat up right by the phone. Cause you're always on my mind. And I'm running out of time. I've got your hair on my pillow and your smell in my sheets. And it makes me think about you with the sand in your feet. Is it all you thought it'd be? You mean everything to me.

I snitched them from Sist's blog. Hawhaw. Cause i'm sucha lazy girl. And seriously. I have the bottle that Bryan (points below!) drank from in my cupboard -.- I don't know what to do with it. Zhixin wants to drink it, i want to laugh. Hahaha. I think the Crew shirt's awesome. Haw. She was being a real idiot last night. What brothersister. Gnd, missteo. And i have to share room with her from tomorrow, when we're in hongkong. Actually, i share room with her -.- eveyday. HAHA. The only good thing about travelling with her on a flight is that. She gives me her seatpillow. Hawhaw. Now, that sounds really stupid. I'm learning to fall, can hardly breathe.

Whalao. He damn cool. Hahaha! Really. The hair, the guitar, O: Haha. Bet everyone loved him. Cause everyone i knew, did. Hahah. Ohkay, i'm gonna do a mini breakdown of this week's dates. Spent Saturday with Baba/Chupsie/Sweetstuff (Sour? HAHA) Hawhaw, we ran in the rain. And she loan me her vest to cover my chanel. -.- Ah shutup. Its not mine. No, I didnt steal it. My mum throws me all her branded bags (not like i'm complaining but i'm not careful with them you see) cause she can't seem to find anything to match with them or she thinks they look too young for her. Yeah.. -.- Hahaha. We ran in the mfking rain, and it stopped after awhile. Exasperated much. Ended off the date, when i got donuts from Donutfactory for the family. Monday, spent it with my dear boyfriend :D Hahaha. We walked, visited Hajilane and spent like free -.- Hahaha. I know you're happy with the bikini you got, love. Flaunt it, hun. Haha. We spent the day looking out for sharpfaces and took a ugly shot at the idphoto booth -.- We'll try again k, Boyf. Next time, we'll take it at the start of the day so that we don't look so exhausted/tired. Hahah. The 'coolguy' thang. HAHAH. Saih, i rememeber how i kept chanting it during the nikerun. I see Boyf laughing. -.-

Anyway, i'm not gonna see Vanyo for 2weeks. Like omg ): Reminds me of the exam weeks when she's like on my mind, 24/7. You're missed, you'll be missed. 15th, hurry come to mummy. Haha. We'll have our timsum again awright. Since we always stick to the same sort of food when we're out together (: I can't wait, serrriously. Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer :) Met up with my IDARE campgroupmates yesterday! Full attendance :D Except for our SF luh. Stupid tecksheng. Hahah. And of course, with the exception of Royston. 5hours late eh, bet he crawled to Queenstown. Hahah. We spent a bomb. But it covered super alot of items, all our IDs are done :) Xavier, Greg, etc were at Ikea too. Someone said, it seemed as though our group has.. secret weapons -.- Right. Hahaha. I'm proud of the full attendance thing. Its a good sign that we'll be victorious at Bintan. HAHAH. Met Kellyn first in the morning actually, then everyone else started streaming in. I don't know why but i picked on Noel -.- And i suffered in the end when both of us went to buy drinks from coldstorage & when i accompanied him to draw money. Cause i got jacked. (looks at Qaiser -.-) Imagine that. Wha best, i was speechless. Haha. But he's good company, -.- I drew on all 12cushions and the groupflag! HAHA. I didn't know where the artistic side of me emerge from. We ended off the day at 8odd. Cabbed back with #1 and Chupsie :) Cause they were also waiting for cab. Oh, SON! Imy aye, do takecare in China!

Hongkong tomorrrrrrrrrrrrrrow ! From thursday to sunday. 2nd time this year. I can't wait to go to Uniqlo. Zhixin and I are gonna turn the wholeshop upside down. Hawhaw. My mum will just stroll and watch. Who knows. She surprises me all the time, she might end up buying more for herself as compared to us -.- Haha! AND THEN. When i arrived back on sunday night, i'll be off to Bintan for IDARE camp the next day! Yay. It would be tiring. I am prepared to sleep like a pig during the ferry ride. And i haven't packed for both trips. Hyperventilates. I packed a little for Bintan onlyyy. But hongkong.. zilch. Cause i'm feeling lazy. I don't feel like going out today actually. We'll see how things go. And i really ♥ Subway cookies. Haha. Random. And i can't wait to bunk in with my ultimateloveeeeeeeeeeeeee, kellyn. Hahaha. See, ultimatelove somemore. I think we've alot of fate (: First friends in BAoc eh. Hahah. We'll be pigging out at night, with our huge stash of food. I need to think of what i want to bring there actually. Haha. Awright, i'm tired of blogging. Byee.

wrong emotions, wrong place, wrong time.

2008-09-01T11:15:00.014+08:00

I wanna run, but only far enough to make you miss me.

I wanna take back all the shit that I have done.

But I guess you were better off without me.

Nike + Human Race! Helped out. Events Crew (:

With Boyf of course. Dimsum before that, and we wasted time choosing lanyard. Hahah. Met up with Weijun, Mark & Co. Walked over to collect our shirts, tags and all. My sweets disappeared within seconds. I knew the moment i let the bag slip through my fingertips and into Jay's, i'm never gonna see it again. (well i did, i saw it empty) From a not so far spot, I saw Benlim holding a huge palmful and throwing it into his mouth. And others also, eat like free. Reminded me of Finding Nemo. Where all the seagulls surround smtg (i forgot what) and chant, 'mine, mine, mine'. Here's a short clip to refresh your memory (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW_HHjDKKhI) Hahah. Blamed Jay for the disappearance of my entire bag of sweets, and he told me he has amnesia so he doesn't remember who i am. -.-

It was tough ushering in the crowds, everyone didn't budge and they ignored instructions. When i told them to move politely, they ignore me. When the guys told 'em, they moved a little. Whalao eh, sexist. Imagine all 11,000 people telling you they're waiting for their friends. Right. Like thats a good reason to crowd all the way to the front. Move to the sides where its emptier luh, gdmit. In the end, we formed human chains to push the crowds back by force. All of our side people joined hands to push. It was effective. Thankgod (: I got knocked on my head by Xavier. Stupid, how come everyone spots me before i spot 'em. Saw like pools of familiar faces :D After they closed the barriers, we were free for the night. Hawhaw. Ran around, looked for the Cousins + Sisters and went into the crowd to watch the performances. Front Row!!

Boys like Girls's Lead, Martin Johnson threw out 2 ipod nanos. Wtf, Yewt caught it luh! Like Omg. He laughed in my face. Apparently, it bounced off Xiul and Yewt's hands and Cheryl caught it. HAHAH. Wha best. Syakir caught the bottle that Bryan the bassist drank from -.- He gave it to Van and I -.- HAHAH. Van said she had a friend who would really keep 'em properly, with proper tags and all. HAHAHA, funny. I don't know what to do with it. I think selling it is stupid. Anyone can drink from a bottle thats similar and claim Bryan D, the bassist from Boyslikegirls drank from it. HAHAHA. I like the bassists from Blg and theGreatspyExperiment. Zoey has all the pikchures! Haha. We were right infront luh, so much so that when Blg spit water out. I got it twice, in my face -.- Sist said she wouldn't wash her face. Yucks. I didn't share the same sentiments. Field was muddy, and uneven. Bryan's damn cool. HAHAHAH. Everyone thinks he is. Seriously. Yewt had to book into camp after the concert so they rushed off. Zhixin and Zhixuan went to drink Mccafe without me -.- The three of us took a bus home after that.

Qaiser had to endure my screamings on the phone and frantic ramblings. Poor thing. Nostalgic. And Yewt messaged me. Say the news that he caught Ipod Nano from the Nike + Human Race spread in his camp like wildfire. Everyone messaging him and coming up to him saying, whatthefuck you caught the ipod nano?! HAHA. Laughed like mad, told him to emphasize WHO threw it. He thinks the bassist is cool too, the hair swinging actions. He told me to go learn -.- Like as if they hold classes for such acts. Noob. Forgot to say, he got lost before the race. HAHA. Ended up as Esplanade. I had to guide him back. But i was free anyway, we were given free time and reporting time back to the Padang was 0345. Hawhaw. Unlike the 'bouncers', they had to work the whole shift. 30bucks was what we earned that night. I like the shirt more :D Crew.

Ohkay, my laptop's battery's practically dead. Pikchures soon when i get them from Zoey. I'm gonna change and bathe, i'm late 0: Hahaha. Goodbye. And i'm going to HONGKONG this thursday! :D I know, again? Hahahaha. Uniqlo Uniqlo ;) I went twice this year, upcoming trip's the second. I don't know why my parents are bent on getting away from Singapore. We went away twice this year already. Plus thursday, third. Then end of year, EUROPE :D I can't wait for Italy/France/Switzerland. Andandand, it will be the WHOLE EXTENDED FAMILY going. Sist is already counting down. 100plus more days. I'm super late already, shucks.

faint smell of ammonia.

plus the appearance of a potential whole new cycle.. not again.

2008-08-28T13:23:00.008+08:00

Watch Boys Like Girls perform LIVE after the NikeRun!

Click on the link below (:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2byhSGioIM

~~Selling, 3tickets.~~
~~Tickets come in the form of a wristband,~~

which entitles you entry to the Padang for the concert.
Mail me or Sms 98304236.
Price can be negotiable.

why wait. its not everyday that boyslikegirls perform in singapore.

there are localband performances and acts as well.

ALL SOLD!

Right. So i've been looking for this quiz for quite some time.

Thanks Qaiser, snitched it from you!

RULES:

1. Put Your itunes, windows media player etc on Shuffle

2. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS

Your Life: The Soundtrack

Opening credits: Superwoman - KarynW.

Waking up: That Smell - 3DoorsD. (x:)

Average day: Topless - BreakingBenj. (Right)

First date: Distraction - Angels&Airw.

Falling in love: Given Up - LinkinP. (Talk about Cynical. Haha.)

Love scene: Six feet under the Stars - AllTimeL.

Fight scene: Like This - Mims.

Breaking up: Home - BreakingBenj. (WHATTHEF? -.-)

Getting back together: Crashed - Daughtry.

Secret love: Baby Come on - +44 (UH)

Life's okay: Lying is the most fun a girl can .... - PATD(:

Mental breakdown: Here I stand - MadinaL.

Driving: Break Away - TokioH.

Learning a lesson: Luckiest Loser - BowlingforS. (HAHAHA)

Deep thought: Tears Don't Fall - Bulletfmv. (Yeaaah)

Flashback: Monsoon - TokioH.

Partying: Elevator Remix.

Happy dance: Paperthin Hymn - Anberl.

Regreting: True Love - Angels&Airw.

Long night alone: Unbound the Wild ride - AvengedSv.

Death scene: There and Back again - Daughtry.

Closing credits: Punk Rock 101 - BowlingForS.

2008-08-27T18:58:00.002+08:00

Overdued pictures.

The top two were taken at night, the first was when it was way past dark and the sky had this glow to it. I had to snap it fast before it vanished before my eyes. And the other was actually a obvious act of disgrunt. I was hell annoyed with the glaring afternoon sun on almost a daily basis when i studied. The bright glare in the picture's really nothing, swear on my grandmother. If you were with me, you would know what my patience always ran so low. For the last. Kirsten sat next to me on saturday when we were all having dinner at Milennia before the fireworks and she was waiting for her food when i snapped, she looks a little perturbed actually.

I was away the past few days, away from the comfort of my clean bedsheets. Went for Interactive Day Camp. Cudos to the organisors/helpers and those who put in the effort to actually make things go according to plan. Whereas for those who possessed twisted logic and convoluted ideas which further propel them to act in such manners (in which the campers detest), i'll just have to say karma is a strong word. What goes around, comes around. Trivial issue? Possible. Individual impact? Thats something one can fume about. Those who are sincere, are appreciated. I entertain thoughts that make me giggle, and make those i refer to squirm, but they are for my own enjoyment alone thx. Few would understand, and even if you think you do, don't be too sure of yourself or be too cocky. I could be spewing rubbish, for all you know. Oops i mean, for all you THINK you know.

Icyillusions has no privacy. Even those who claim they don't snoop around nor do they follow my irregular updates are actually those who hold forums about it in their heads at night. The silent battles, and suspicions of whom i am referring to. Why so secretive, don't think you can fool me with your 'ohmyidonotknow' expression. Ohmyyucks O: This is in no way with reference to anyone or situation in recent times (yet again, disclaminer) Just something i discovered a couple of weeks ago. And honestly, it amuses me to no end. I might contemplate on opening another address elsewhere. But icyillusions has been with me for a couple of years to date, i'm reluctant to unleash my hold. We'll see, let time tell. Blackskull was my interactive day group, we had our fair share of fun i figure. Shan't go into stats about the camp, not significant. Bathing was great, the fact that there was only a handful of girls made showering faster and less stressful.

My sister listened to me rant on the last night, when it was her bedtime. There i was, raving like some psychomaniac and she listened, adding in her occassional twocents via message. She has a bent sense of humor, it makes me laugh. Of course, it boosts the ego though it probably really isn't true. Read prettyvict__ Lj and realized that my dearest has much to worry about. I feel guilty for not being there, i'm sorry. I hope you're fine, your post made me worry alot. Drop me a message or smtg? Maybe we could meetup for a short coffee and cake session before i leave for hongkong next week (: Anyway, seeing Boyfriend during Id Camp was theBEST. I love her ttm (: Precious was awesome, throughout the whole camp as well. Everyone was, equal credits. Awright, i'm tired of blogging. And i needa nap, i haven't slept and i'm grumpy. So off i go, bye.

2008-08-24T00:53:00.005+08:00

Watched the fireworks festival from MarinaBay.

View was breathtaking, gave a whole new meaning to the mere word 'fireworks'.
The crackling sound in the skies, the outburst of spectrums and the gasps of awe. Fab. Cftc performed after that, (:

I read a interesting blog, happened to pounce upon it. Despite the fact that the blogger looks as though he's part of the norm/crowd (piercings, skinnies, tightfitshirts, emohair), i figured i should try heeding my own advice of looking beyond the first impression. And i was hooked on the constant reality checks in his posts. 'm impressed. I like reading wordy posts with indepth thought even if it was churned out in a matter of minutes, or who knows, maybe hours. In comparison to pictureheavy posts (yes i'm aware that pictures speak louder than words BUT they can't replace 'em), i still stand by my preference. This paragraph's rather random actually. Hah. Anyway, camp's like tomorrow. And i have to cab down cause i have no means of transport. Dad would be out of the country and I honestly don't want to bother my mum by waking her up so early. Looks like there isn't any other way out.

I haven't been sleeping well. Falling asleep at only 5 or 6am and then forcing myself to roll off the bed before the clock strikes noon is pure torture. Then there are times when i get up at as early as 9 or 10am. And one wonders why the constant bouts of headache spring into action like energizers in my effing head. I need to sleep well tmrw, doubt i can do so today. I've been quite a grouch, can't quite figure out where it came from. Spells trouble with a capital T. My fingers are refusing to type anymore, 'm gonna indulge in some reading. And as usual, i bet i would only get some shut eye when i hear the distant sound of the first buses in the morning. Breakfast with Py tomorrow, can't wait (: Goodnight!

Son's leaving on monday ):

Will miss you, do enjoy yourself there yeah.

It would certainly be a awesome experience.

Tell me more when you get back uh? Love.

Quiz(:

2008-08-22T23:39:00.002+08:00

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as English/Journalism/Comm.

You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Communication, English, Film, Journalism, Literature, or Writing.

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

100%

English/Journalism/Comm

100%

HR/BusinessManagement

94%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

94%

Education/Counseling

94%

Psychology/Sociology

88%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

88%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

81%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

75%

Visual&PerformingArts

69%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

50%

Religion/Theology

38%

Mathematics/Statistics

38%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

25%

2008-08-21T23:59:00.002+08:00

They spill unfound from a pretty mouth.

Its around midnight, and i'm already deaddogtired. To think about it, just few days ago, I was cramming all the prior knowledge i have in preparation for the finalexams. And i'm free, now. Haw. Boyf finished her last paper today, and we met up (: After like so damned long. I missed her. I surprised her with her belated present, her expression was O: HAHA. I know how you were just dying to see me when you screamed at your mum in anticipation for our date. Its allright, i'll keep the secret on a downlow. HAHA. Its the same on my side for me, love. I even awoke when the sunrays shone on my sleepingform cause i was looking forward to our date :D Haha. Although after a couple of seconds i fell back asleep but thats not the point. Hahah! Anyway, back to today. We ate at Dintaifung. Took ages to order cause as usual, we were filling each other in on the past 2weeks. Then afterwhich, we had xlb (xiaolongbao, noob) dumplingsoup slicedbeef. Enough actually, for us. I was full to the brim. And my last xlb was destroyed, -stares at Van. HAHAHA. Not your fault, it was the climax of our convo so it got a little too psyched about your story. Haha! Rubbish.

Then we shopped. Retail therapy, to the max. Part 1 only. We hit our usual spots, and Van snitched a steal. The prettyshirt with the laceyflap infront was less than twenty. And she got the last piece, two piece per colour. Tsk. her ecstatic look was priceless when we saw the pricetag. HAHA. We shopped for the whole afternoon, not even noticing when it became dark outside. When we stepped out, we were surprised by how late it was. Totally lost track of time when we hopped from shop to shop. I got my sandals, -skips around happily. The ones i wanted since forever, but they didn't had black last time. The brightyellow ones were abit too cheery and chirpy to my liking. Then the colourful shirt that i got, a total contrast in comparison to my favouriteblack. But it was cute, i like. Boyf 's sandals are prettttty, i like the beads/pearls/whatever. The dress too. Please don't forget the bottoms when you wear them, Bfried. Dinner at yoshi after we wandered around aimlessly.

Cine was fug smelly. Like as though the whole toilet exploded. Cause shitlike substance was flowing down the road and it stunk like hell. From the traffic light, the distinct smell of faeces could be detected. And closer we went, the closer to death. Seriously. Fugging smelly. Boyf couldnt stand it. the sight was horrid too. We didn't made it, ran back to nonsmelly part of town. Wandered around, we talked as we walked. Ended off with wisma, then chatted at the busstop. Missed numerous buses, just for heart to hearts. Worth it, wouldn't exchange a single dime for them. Its funny how we reach conclusions when we are out of the picture. I resolve to think more rationally in similar scenarios if they happen in future. Certain individuals aren't worth out twocents, why waste time broodingthinking. When it isn't reciprocated. And then there's smelliesfromthepast. Smelly/Smellies cause i think other words i can think of are either highly inappropriate or too indecent (in case there are youngerones). Boyf loved my reaction. UHHUM. Right. Baba also, (trackback to that phonecall i dropped her a week or 2 ago) she was laughing at me when i started my endless, "eew eeeeeeeeee grosss yucks disgustingggg". HAHA.

Boost to my ego? I think not. Perharps it should be, but its gross to me. Seriously. As if i'm going to take a timeshuttle back and revisit the horrible memories that were left in the remains of it. Sure, there were goodtimes. But like i said to Sist, they are minimal in comparison to the awful smelly ones. I used to preach back in my youngerdays (rofl), hate's a strong word don't use hate use dislike blahblah. Well, thanks for making me eat my words. (: They taste really good, for once. My intellect must have failed me in the past. Awright, enough of the vocab. I just felt the urge to rant (: If you observe, i'm not upset. I think i have really (repeat for the upteenth time) become too cynical for my own liking. Qaiser says i'm cautious, when it comes to newfacesnewpeople. I guess thats a nice way of putting it. But yeah, i still hate unknowns. Additional (unknown/anonymous) friends to the friends list is not a race of quantity. Even if it is, it doesn't quite appeal to me. There's a limit, and speaking of which, i need to clean my friendster. Deletedelete.

I love Boyfriend to the max. Apart from the laughs and the therap we indulge in, she's tops on my favourites. I look forward to more xlb, more dressingroom screams "vaaaaaaan, patd patd!!", future snapsnaps since we didn't takea single shot today (deprivation, really), yoshi hotspot (i still like the bench), balcony (hawhaw) and our before-6oclock-but-on-weekdays movie(s), manymore. The list is endless, our acts measure up as well. And i hope you didn't fall asleep in the midst of your 3hours blogging (like you say, slowminds take longer time) because, you'll wake up with keyboard marks. LOL. Cheese to my nachos, milk to my cereal. Hello imagery, please sprout in my creative(coughs) head. Oh this is random but. Camp's on monday, mixture of the anticipation and the dread. Then hongkong on the first week of september (: The moment i arrive back, i'll leave for idare on the next day. -.- Mad rush.

And speaking of which. ID CAMP CLASHES W MY IDARE COMPULSORY BRIEFING. Fug. Attendance is required, think its about the whole journey there and standard prodecures. Shucks. I need a solution, solution please emerge soon. I think i'm sleep deprived, my post had been 'pretty. odd.' (PATD,PATD,PATD,:D:D). Okay nights. I need to wake up early tmrw just to accompany Miss Yueyuanling. You owe me, playmate. -stares. I'm sacrificing sleep, its major. Lunch with the clique(cals[:) tomorrow, its been way too long. Dinner, grandma's birthday. Hawhaw, do grandparents eat chocolate. Cause i honestly don't know what kinda cake i should get. Saturday morning's for my Donut (: HAHA. All the food that i predict i will consume in the next few days are really, vast. Hit the panic button. X: Ohkay, i ought to sleep now. Bai.

2008-08-20T11:18:00.003+08:00

Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?

So i have approximately 30minutes before the minute hand strikes 12 (noon, mind you.) and then i'll have to head out. I've barely even prepared much, only a change of clothes. My hair's still a drastic mess, seeing that i just got out of the bath. A quite review of the three papers, i think i was reasonably prepared. Itb was a effing disappointment, fuck it, i'm sure it would be the lowest grade out of the three. MicroEcons was manageable, so was Bstats. It ought to be, seeing that i prepared for it so if it aint, then Gg. Itb, nothing went in my head when i studied, screwed up the effing database when that was the easiest to score. Way to go, zhixian. Stats was better, so was Econs :D:D Surprisingly, i look back and thought of how i almost came to dislike both subs just cause i couldn't score. I hope i do this time. But yeah, enuff about the papers. 7weeks of holidays has arrived, as slow as it took, but its finally here. Yay :)

Lunch with classmates. Bruno, Qaiser, Marcus, Bram, Khaikit, Weiling, Karthi, Jiachuan, Deanna, Adeline and Alia @ BT plaza. Kfc, hahah. We joined all the two seated tables to form a long row for the 12 of us. I think i talked too much yesterday, must be because i've shut myself away from the world for so long (my books/notes/tutorials AND i) due to not going out and getting over the jitters of the finalexams, so i rambled alot on and on the entire day. Deanna's ears suffered, Bellie's and Sist's as well. Followed the guys when they pooled cause i figured, i wouldn't be in time if i went with the girls to checkout Chevrons. Khaikit owned (almost?) everyone, handsdown. Marcus didn't have his wife, lol. Bram and Bruno nursed their defeated egos. Haha! Jiachuan stoned. Bumped into Janice, haha. At least i'll have company (plus precious and nah's) when we go to camp. I heard majority of the campers are guys, -.- Reminds me of sports camp, Kaji was like 2:1 (guys to girls ratio). Left at 2odd with Khai, cause we were taking from the same side. Haha. Saw Clarice whilst crossing the road. (:

Took two buses down to Stc to meet Lover. That dumbblonde in disguise told me my hair's red. Like, duh i know. Hahah. Then she'll just laugh at her own joke. I mean wtfreak, she said about herself, "my cleavage is like a dinosaur. " And i went, hur. She replied, cause its EXTINCT. Wtf, i wanted to slap her. Then she burst into laughter -.- What a nut. I think i rattled her head off the whole journey as we headed to town. Like for hours, i was talking nonstop. And it beats me how her ears don't bleed after all of it. I poured like a running tap, -snorts. Went to MosBurger, then we just walked around till our sisters came. Francesca and Zhixin were in Chinatown, -.- Hahaha. We took a bus to Holland from Wisma, to head to Song&song. HAHA. *I see Boyfriend giving me the wth expression. Frolick FTW, hahaha. Four of us bought the biggest. Afterwhich, it was nearing 7plus so we split up. Sist and I took a bus down to Vivo. Joined my Mum and maid as they shopped for groceries. I observed the rise in prices. In cheese, sugar, etc. Price Inelastic goods, HAWHAW. Went home after that, i didn't fall asleep till 4am -.- Cause i was reading.

Damnit, i'm gonna be late if i don't head off this instant. I've pretty much gotten used to not going online, and i'm a lazytalker anyway. I can't hold a decent conversation on msn without the otherparty getting bored cause my fingers are just like me, lazy. Hahaha. Of course, there are exceptions. I suddenly thought of Karthi's msn emoticons, i want to laugh. Plus Counterpart's ridiculous/sick ones. And the numlock incident, -stares at Bram. HAHAHAH. Ohgay, i'm off. This week's paccckeedddd. And Boyf, date tmrwwww :) I can't wait. I must not forget to bring your birthday present, i can be quite a scatterbrain. Awright, out. Xoxo.

2008-08-13T10:48:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOYF, ♥ I'm not sure if you've received my message, Boyf. But here's another, just in case. And if you haven't, let me knw (: We need to take more snapsnaps bytheway! You look nice in the above picture, so i'm sacrificing cause i think i look like. X: HAHA. See, we need to update my Boyf Folder in my Pictures. Enjoy this special day, Boyf. You're missed the most, honest. You better be putting on those pounds, you know i tend to nag alot when they run away. Better keep a tighter reign on them, else you'll need to buy earplugs. I've much to talk to you about, as usual cause i can be such a horribly long-winded person. I miss your retarded laughter, and your nonsensical typo errors online. I haven't forgotten how bfried came about, ohmy. A&F, nanpengyou. Woluvni.

2008-08-12T15:59:00.003+08:00

I need to get my brain working. And not seizing every opportunity to slacken. Head's throbbing like mad. Since yesterday, ohwait, the day before. Weak shit, i can't afford to waste time on headaches. Final tests, craaaap. Microecons, 3more days to go. Omfg. I have to do well, if not, Gg. Haha. And i haven't gone online for ages, i feel like i'm a clam. Shutting out. Man, the laptop proves to be more of a distraction these couple of days. Can't tear my eyes away, pfft. On a happier note, Happy 4years, Halfy (: Next friday, can't wait to see the Cals. Its been long, way too long. And its currently, 4.05pm. I need to get started on Econs. Finish up the notes and then deal with ITB as well as.. Stats. As i'm typing this, i bet there are others mugging away. Ohwells, i've resigned myself to the fact that i can't be a closetmugger. I don't see the joy in.. having hot dates with texts/notes/tutorials unless i really have to. Which is like, now. Shits.

I reckon i think too much sometimes. Looking back and scribbles here and there, they're not making anything better. Nor making me feel any better. I stand by what i say, the fact that in and out, they come and go. Riddle, much? Anyway, so Baba msged me yesterday and told me the most disgusting thing. She had the cheek to laugh, that nut. And there i was, feeling the goosepimples (excuse me, it was really gross) and not knowing if i should laugh. I ever said i wouldn't look back, i didn't. So now, wipe the dust off and be on your way. I have my reasons, and my present doesn't include you. Those who know, they wouldn't judge. Those who are aware, they'll feel the disgust. Those who are close to heart, will understand my sentiments. Whereas if you don't, don't fall prey to assumptions. MicroEcons taught me that, there's such a thing called fallacy that association is causation. Then there's fallacy of composition, and fallacy of ignoring secondary effects. One should get my drift, i highly doubt that i am thaat hard to decipher. I wish as hell, i could have more of a poker face. Might do me alot more good then being so predictable? Food for thought.

Vanyo, i miss you ): Boyfriend, its been long. And i'm working towards the end of exams, towards the last day of your paper. And we'll paint the town red, okay, orange luh since you like orange. I don't think black would be nice, though i do have a keen liking towards it, i'm afraid i might not be able to see your counterparts/accomplices/affairs in the dark. Ohmy, i don't know where that came from. I want to laugh. I cant imagine your shocked expression now, as you chance upon this paragraph. HAHA. Miss the times we used to be so caught up in our own thoughts whilst shopping or when we're out that we don't.. even know where we're heading to at times -.- And calamari rings, i haven't got enough of them. Haha. Anyway, bfried you're growing older tomorrow and even if you're toothless next time, and balding everywhere, i'll still love you. Cause i'm your boyfriend whaaaaaat. HAHAHA. That leaves me virtually, no choice. Remember always and forever, it still stays. x's and o's, loveyou truckloads.

I'm gonna use all my willpower to climb out of bed and exit my room. Thats if my headache doesn't kill me first. Talk about inner battles, how retarded. I think my thoughts are getting to my head, i'm not even talking or thinking straight. Haha. Oh and this is random. School's cool, i don't need to name whom, hawhaw. Weiling better not forget that we need to roll down the hills after our last paper, with qaiser paving the way and bruno bombing the convention centre. Lets not forget, jiachuan shuffling and karthi hiding in the ics room at every opportunity he grabs hold of. I bet all of you are mugging, secretly. -screams. Ohkay, i shall end here. The fan next to the bed is making me giddy, ohmygod i sound dumb. HAHA. Ohkay. I'm out.

2008-08-07T17:40:00.007+08:00

Breurie ♥ Sizzling.

My study plans at home aren't working out, its always until the sun sets and when the sky turns into a deeper shade of blue then I can study. Goodness. Well, i ought to start studying already, like tonight. Else i swear, i'll regret. With all the muggerfriends around me, its a wonder how i haven't been influenced yet. Need to be, more disciplined. Anyway, had OBSE paper yesterday. Screwed up the Self-fulfilling prophecy question, fug. I could have done it better, but the keywords of the definition weren't in my answer so there's like close to 10 marks given away. Cause the next question was linked to it as well, -rolls eyes. Helped Wenqi with drawing her eyes, it wasn't well done ): I could have done bettttter. Nevermind, next time k, i'll do a better job. Hawhaw. When everyone was done and ready, we set off to town.

So it was Bram, Jiachuan, Bruno, Qaiser, Adeline, Weiling, Alia, Karthi, Marcus, Khaikit and I. Qaiser's camera is super cool, the pictures were really well taken (: Anyway, we took 61 opposite Ngeeann and dropped at HollandV. We almost missed the stop, the bus was moving off already and noone noticed that it was hollandv. I stupidly told everyone to prepare to get down soon. Then we found out, actually Sarah did, that we're already due to get off the bus. So 11 of us in the midst of making all the noise cause we were hurrying/panicking, scurried off the bus. 77 came soon after, so we boarded it to Town. Got tickets for 230pm show for The Dark Knight :D Lunch at Longjohnsilver. We dominated the longest table, was like just nice for all of us without splitting into smaller groups. Jiajie was gonna come too, and Deanna as well so Bram & I went to buy tickets for 'em. Weiling, Alia and I spent the longest time at Diva. In the end, Weiling and I purchased items. Haha! Adeline and Alia went off before the movie. Jiajie came with his friends who also watched Dark Knight too. Deanna reached just in time before the movie started.

I like the movie! Haha. But i got shocked out of my seat like every few minutes luh. The sound effects, the imagery, everything. And i was hoping Bram who was on my right, and Karthi on my right, wouldn't notice. Karthi did -.- Ohgod, embarrassing. HAHA. And then later, i was cold -.- But i'm strong, i endured till the end of the movie. Haha! The magic trick by the Joker was damn dope and basically, Heath Ledger's role as the Joker outshone the others. The other characters were great, he was awesome. I was.. actually scared -.- Especially the knife part, and 'why so serious'. Haha. The movie was worth it, 6bucks cause we're students and its like.. 2 and a half hours long. Came out of the theatre and Jiachuan was being a asshole. Hahah. Dark knight, somemore. I couldn't stop laughing. Then we saw Jack Neo. Bram saw him, Weiling also. Jiajie and his friends too. But the rest didn't believe, like -.- But he went as fast as he came. Headed downstairs to Foodcourt to decide on our next move. After procrastinating for like super long, we decided not to watch Promnight/Money no enough and tooka life upstairs.

They wanted to pool, but i-don't-know-how the plan changed and we were @ level 9. Everywhere reminds me of past times in stc, especially Cine. I recall (like yet again -.-) back in sec3, i was ill k. Stomach ache or headache or smtg, and i was resting at home. The next thing i knew, my maid came into my room and told me there were four or five stc girls outside our house unit, screaming my name. Like wtfreak, how stupid. They remember which level i stayed but forgot the units, so they stood outside all 4units and shouted "zhixiaaann, zhixiaaaan!" I went out to open the door for 'em, forgot who was there but i recall Qian, Cs, Manda, Julie, Pris, Puiy, Liying, Sumay, May and I really forgot who else -.- Shit. But the whole batch didn't come together, the other half came after that. They charged into my house, raped my room, all came and settled in like their own crib -.- We ordered macs and they allllllllllll borrowed my jackets to wear above the school blouse and shorts so that we can enter E2max Chamber. Until now, i haven't got them back. Shityall. Hahah!

We split cabs, two i think. Or was it.. three? I forgot. Cabbed to Cine, went up and we booked the biggest room -.- I forgot what show we caught but its confirmed horror. We always watch horror, i like horror. Scream nonstop, we got freaked out, pigged out cause we smuggled tons of chips and drinks inside. Spent like 2 or 3 hours inside. Haha, 2006 seemed dinosaur years ago. Ohkay, i diggressed, 'm sorry. Weiling left us before that, Deanna also. So it was like, Jiajie Jiachuan Bruno Bram Qaiser Marcus and I. We caught The Reaping. I like the storyline, but effects weren't as... scary? But i still got shocked luh, typical. And Jiajie's rightbutt hurt, so we had to scoot over to give his right-butt space. Haha! I think its comical. Dinner later on at FoodRepublic, it was 9plus i think. Qaiser left with his younger sister, the rest of us took a bus down to Meridien. They pooled, ladyluck wasn't on Bram's side. Nevermind, other days would be better. Hah. Jiajie can play luh, act noob only. It was close to midnight when we left, and i didn't catch the last bus! Haha, i caught those before that :D HAHA.

Pris came up at PlazaSing stop! I couldn't manage to talk to her much cause was on the phone with Boyf. But it was nice to see her, after godknows how long since we graduated. And she still looks the same! Same from Cny, when a couple of us went to Mr Wong's to pay him a visit. She alighted soon after at Chinatown. I bused all the way home, walked a little slower back cause this weird oldman who stays in my block was on 124 today. And he's super creepy, coming from my mum too. She says he's ... freaky. HAHAH! So i waited for the next lift. My battery conked out, Flat. When i was talking to Boyf halfway somemore. Went home to charge it, bathed & then online. Almost everyone else was online too. Bruno mass convo-ed a few of us to tell us about the gays Jiachuan and him saw on the last train back. Gay like them, hawhaw. Thanks Numlocker, for checking up on me as to whether i've reached home. And Jiachuan -.- Who told me to takecare of myself and not meet any JOKERS on the way back. Stupid, he's the joker. I was falling asleep on my laptop which was on my bed whilst Qaiser sent me photos. Thanks, i knew you were tired too. (: After a while of msn-ing, couldn't take it, i went to bed. Haha! Ohkay, dinner. Bai!

2008-08-05T10:47:00.006+08:00

Ryro/Breurie

I could have talked to Brendon Urie.
I could have talked to Brendon Urie.
I could have talked to Brendon Urie.
-stares at phone >.<

"What happened to TH?!"
HAHA. Here in my heart, babe. Hahaha! TKaulitz has so many girlfriends and we can't communicate, he's german so no hope. My wallpaper changed too, i see Weiling shaking her head at me. Hahah! Ahyuh. Anyway, 'm going to search for more patd pikchures. Then i will head back to my table to revise my obse, studydate with molly is cancelled. And i'm kinda lazy to go all the way to NgeeAnn to study, sorry guys. Maybe some other day this week? (:

Yes, i still think Ryan Ross is teybombxz (:

2008-08-03T22:26:00.014+08:00

♥

OMG FAINT AND DIE.
Continue reading and you'll understand.. why.

Qaiser called me when he was working today. He called me yesterday too, when he was available and when he was done with eating. He's one lucky shit, working at SINGFEST on both days. And and he called me today, the following extract's roughly what i remember from the convo.

Qaiser: Hey, how come your phone cannot call through just now?

Me: Hur? Cannot? Can't be, don't have any missed calls at all eh.
Qaiser: Uh.. I don't know if i should tell you this..
Me: What? Why? SAY.
Qaiser: I was talking/speaking to the Panic At the Disco's LeadSinger just now and i asked if he could say hi (or was it speak) to my friend on the phone.. But when i called YOU, i couldn't get through.. And they had to perform already.. They're like performing onstage now, after onerepublic.
Me: .. OMG. WHAT. WHAAAAAAAT.
-shrieks and babbles nonsense. OMGOMGOMG.
Qaiser: ... don't be depressed k.

WHAA. SHUCKS ): Damn sad. Qaiser said he asked Simple Plan's Pierre Bouvier to speak to his other friend, but she left her phone in her bag. Like zzz. Haha, wasted. MINE WASTED ALSO ): Then Qaiser still can say, maybe next year luh. Like !?!?!? Hahhaa. And i didn't know how he knows that i listen to P!ATD. W-A-S-T-E-D k, stupid connection. STUPID. Ohkay, i shall stop wallowing in despair and get back to Obse. Nvm, Qaiser says he has pictures. I will bug him for them tomorrow, then start brooding again. Seriously, i can't believe this happened to me. Like, argh. Damn lucky, DAMN LUCKY. Pfffffffffffffffffft. Okay, goodbye >:(

Alamak. WRONG. Its not ryan ross.. ITS BRENDON URIE.

Zzzz. I used to go gaga over Brendon Urie, after watching i write sins. But then, all teenage girls go crazy over Brendon Urie. So i preferred Ryanross. Thats why i recalled, Brendon Urie's the Lead. But ... told me that its Ryan Ross. Ryan Ross's backup vocalist, you domo. Hahah. Brendon's voice/facial expressions and all, waahhh. And he looks like a prince. HAHAHHA. Whatever, its over. 'm not gonna brood over it. Brendon Urie, Ryan Ross, ....... zz. Anyway. I like PATD's style, its a lot different as compared to other typicalbands. PATD<3>

Edited. (9.48am)
Check this out,
http://www.chanel.com/fashion/11#11-lambskin-flap-bag-with-contrast-piping-1,1,13,3

ITS DAMN PRETTY. I saw this young girl (mind you, she looks like she's 14 or 15 uh) carrying it at wisma on saturday when i was out. Her mum was carrying a similar one, but more matured design. Like omfg, prolly one of those richkids. Anyway, i couldn't find it online via pictures/photobucket so i searched directly from chanel.com. Like wtf, its spring/summer collection 2008. WHICH MEANS, its supersuper recent. Like wth, its super pretty. I'm not like, materialistic or anything. I don't HAVE to get it, but whaaa. Its like, *.* HAHAH. PINK :)Okay, i ought to go get ready for school.. But i'll just browse the catalogue first, :D Bye!

'm not sure if its the right thing for me to do to have encouraged you. But i do know that you'll be happier this way in future. It may hurt and all, but it would be fine after time passes. You do deserve someone better, you're a great girl. Perharps its just not time yet, and the one whom you fell for so deeply this time, doesn't know how to appreciate you for you. I hate it when i see similar scenarios in your r/s that i used to experience in my previous, because the ending result's always the same (so identical, it freaks me out still) And because you're so dear to me, i never want you to fall into the same cycle/trap as i did. When changes are promised, but never last for more than a mere week or so. When there are so many things you're not unaware of. When you feel that he's a total complete stranger, no longer the one you first met. You will be fine, be strong, hang onto the sails, let time take you slowly away. Te amo, daughter. I'm here when you need me, and even when you don't.

2008-08-03T15:13:00.007+08:00

I've seen love die, way too many times.

Europe trip, at first its just two familes. So, 9 people right? Now the rest are joining the party. Hahaha :D Add in another 7 i think? The same 16 of us who went to Korea together (: I remember how my whole entire family (six teeeeen) dominated the coach in Korea and how its so much more fun to enjoy the trip with everyone else around :D Close to the whole entire extended family eh, -squeals. Hahah. But then again, Zhixin and I are hoping for a change. More like only me luh, haha. Sist knows what i mean. Ohwelllls. Nownownow. I can't wait for EUROPE :D Ohgay, baaibaaaai. Off.

Edited/. B and K! Haha. BK. I edited my previous post (: And 'm not confused. Haha. I need to borrow notes for Motivation and Perception. Omg, headache headache. And i'm meeting Molly on tuesday at NgeeAnn to study :D HAHAHAHA. Retarded shit. I think 'm gonna moodswing like shit, tmrw. Shucks.

2008-08-02T22:32:00.008+08:00

01 August,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIACHUAN :D
You mat with glittery eyes and retarded & loud laughter.
I hope you enjoyed your birthday (i know i said this like a gazillion times BUT i really hope you did and i doubt you'll even read this cause 1) you're so blur and 2) you don't know my blog, Ah ha ha ha ha.) Anyway, the following pictures are of Karthi and Fangboon. Karthi helping me with the balloon and board when we were at holland. Then there's fangboon... being himself (being STUPID) I mean, common/ordinary aye? (:

I swear i want to ROFL when i see this shot.
Eh im nice k, i didn't blog your ezlink photo.
HAHAHAHAHHA.

I don't have the other shots! Marcus, send me please? :D HEEHEE. I know you took pictures k. O: Anyway, friday was CATS in the morning. (Sist, send me the pictureeesss pls :D) and after much rushing, we got everything done. I think the video was funny, my sister laughed when she saw the video too. Like ultra drama. HAHAHA. Then afterwhich, met karthi & his friend at HollandV. Karthi was nice enough to change his plans so that he can accompany me before Jiachuan's dinner celebration. Got Jc a soccerballshaped-balloon, :D HAHA. Afterwhich, met Andrew Fangboon Huiying and Alia outside Gymwerkz. Fangboon pinched Huiying and I, with his toes. Gross luh, what if his feet have mould/fungi or smtg. S: Then he sang/danced/acted, basically being himself. Andrew slept, the three of us were bored. Haha. By 4plus, Bram came and Weiling also. I saw Precious! :D And ilyana too (: I like your fringe, tied up. Like a little kid! Rofl. HAHA. Walked to Alameen, Numlocker (BRAM, LOL) complained about the sun the heat and... the sun. Hahaha! I talked to Karthi and i was enlightened.. no longer confused right. Hahaha. We reached Ameen, waited for Jiachuan. Fb was starving, he was so hungry that he didn't talk much. Barely talked. Hahah! Jiachuan came and he didn't even knw we were celebrating his bday thats why we had dinner that day. Like Omg. -.- And when he saw the card, he went like "SO BIGGGG." HAHAHA.

Qaiser came and we ordered food (: By then, we were prolly there for more than an hour or so? Haha. Numlocker's face was super funny when our side of the table's dishes came, cause his side came later so initially, it was just one plate of rice in front of him. WHA. OMG LOL. HAHAHHA. Counterpart called me at about 9, ran out whilst we were playing our typical truth or truths. We should come up with more interesting questions, which still embarrass and dig truths. Oh oh. ~~I know who Bram's after, HAHAHA. And also, Karthi's. -waggles eyebrows.~~ HAHAHA, OKAY LUH, I shall be nice and strikethem out :D Yknw, i knw, it aint... true? HAHA. God, i just thought of Weiling's niche emoticon. That teeko smiley, omgomg, hahah. Tried lighting the candles outside, but the air/aircon/wind was being a bitch. Extinguish the moment both bruno and i stepped into our sitting area. Nb. Hahahah! But yeah, i smashed Jiachuan. And i was the only one, :D Yay me. I recall how IJ girls are super wild when it comes to smashing. I mean, halfy's one big example. She smash and run, like the wind. I think stc girls are dope at it, so i was surprised noone else did it :D Hahah. I rmb Ness's birthday, omg. We ran around the coffeeshop, top to toe in cake whilst screaming like banshees. We chase Sa, Sa chased us, my dress kena but not as bad as the rest. I think Yuan's was quite horrid, Halfy's white shorts were brown from chocolate. Omg, hahahha. Those were the times. I rmb whipped cream in my hair and icycold water down my bloue/pinafore. Stc, :)

Anyway, i promised Jiachuan he can smash me next year if he remembers my birthday. But i figure, he's prolly so blur and clueless that he wouldn't remember. Hahah! We walked towards Kap, and Jiachuan dropped the whole cake at the busstop. When he dropped the cake, we sang happy birthday to him. HAHHA. Like a typical jangjang moment. Andrew and Fb left. Khaik also. The rest of us headed to KAP, sat ar1030amound and spinned the bottle for truths. Laughs. It was funny, i cannot stop laughing. Numlocker's affairs are aplenty, daniel/matthew chakaur hanash jiachuan and 'm sure, more to add to the list. Bruno's ... passive. HAHAHHA. Bully only. Homed at 11 odd, caught the last 195 (: Slept late and i had to wake up early today. Guangmingsan, for prayers to Grandfather after Mum and I fetched Grandma. Xiuling's family & Zhilin were there also. Dispersed after that, mum xiuling eryee2 and i headed for Natas Fair @ Expo :D Like omfg, effing crowded. Crazy singaporeans, like us, reached there at 1030 in the morning. HAHHA.

After browsing though like Ctc/ChanBros/SA/Farmosa/Tradewinds etc, we decided on ASA. We booked from the tour guide who brought/took us to USA last time (: She's super funny, zhixin and i spent the trip laughing at her. I'm not sure if Keem did, but she's entertaining uh. Booked and Confirmed! :D:D

Hellllllllllllllllllooooooo EuropeTRIP, Milan St.Petersburg Mt Titilis VacticanCity Paris Interlaken Florence (MY BCOMM PRESENTATION??!? "Ingredients for the gelato are imported straight from FLORENCE. HAHA xD) Rome Switzerland and i forgot where, HAHAHA. ITs a Italy/Switzerland/France tour. 14days (: So that takes up the 2 weeks holidaybreak i have in December. And and and, i'm gonna be spending Christmas in Paris (: Heeheeeeeheeeeeeeeeee. Sheryl wants to be in my luggage, Shaun also. But i don't know if its possible... but i can try. HAHAHAH.

And we're going as two families, so thats ultra cool. I rmb when we last went on a trip together, was like genting a few years back? And when the clock hit midnight on Christmas, we were on the indoor rollercoaster -_____-" HAHA. And i turned back to wish Yewt, "Meerrry Christmas!" before the ride took a sharp turn. HAHA. So funnnnnny.

Shopping in town after that, we spent 5hours plus at the fair luh. Wtp. We reached town at 4pm, and we were at the fair since 1030am ++ HAHA. Zhixin came to join us. Wisma then taka. Zara first then Mango. Bumped into LAM! Hahah. I haven't seen her for quite a long time. Was talking to Boyf on the phone, i realllllllly miss Vanyojenyi alot. You're important to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I'll spend time with you during the 7weeks break k :D 'm all yours babe, excluding the camps i'm going so i've gotta take leave. Hahah. So as to make up for lost time in December. And i eyed a couple of items for the eoy mangosale, hawhaw. Mango reminds me of Vanyo. See, they rhyme! Hahaha. I bet you're laughing boyfriend, laugh now. Hehheh. Ohgay, then when Zhixin Mum and I were on our way back. Mum told Xin to call Esti to boil barley at home. Xin went, "... call barley at home?" WHA. Rofl, my mum laughed while parking the car so she parked crookedly. She reversed upteenth times, whilst laughing still. Watched Stepup2 the streets at home (: Moose's ... omg woah. Haha!

Shit. I need to get my brain to work tmrw, revise revise reviseeeeee. My plans to do it today didn't work out. And i have obse, econs and stats to handle. Gg. And my aim to finish all the papers from stats and econs? Ohmygawdzxz, i must start i must start. If not, Weiling will kill me. Laoda eh, top mugger. Hahah. Studying in school on monday, Studying with Zx on tuesday. And i think i will just study in school uh, if i'm not too lazy. But yeah, last two weeks X: Ohgay, 'm gonna sleep early. Then study tmrw, i pray for the perserverance. Out, goodnight world.

2008-07-31T19:32:00.008+08:00

And it lingers on,

I woke up late today, didn't go to school for Bcomm cause mine's over. My hair was giving me crappy problems, had to rush out after that. Blardyhelll, i always rush ): Then i have absolutely no fate with buses, either wheeez past me or make me wait for effing long. Cheeeeeebs. But 61 was pretty swift today, reached school relatively early. Could see the guys when i alighted, all standing up. Adeline was on ecstasy again, laugh like a psychopath. And Nick the bunny's just plan irritating, which is so like him. Haha! Almost 3/4 of 01Usuals didn't go for Stats. Only Bruno, Weiling, Deanna and I. Knn, when we reached class, the whole class only us. Even the other clique, didn't go. Like omfg. Hahah. She went through the last sem paper with us, pretty productive, got my brainjuices churning. After which, walked over to 73 to look for the rest of my CATS mates. The room was whaaa, freezing. Rejected offers of jackets, thanks alia (: But in the end, still had to put one on cause i was hopping around trying to keep warm, thanks andrew. We video-ed, and we blasted music. The other classroom kpkb, come and bang the connecting translucent window and push the connecting door open. Towards the end, we used the transparency's glaring light to irritate them. Khaidan danced like some retard and we laughed like mofos. When Deborah and I were hitting/leaning against the translucent windows, someone the other side shouted, smtgsmtg sluts. Wha knnkns, on fire. I tolerated. We took shots, and thanks Andrew for helping us video (: Got outta the room, just nice the other class also. Happened to be Guixiang's class, how coincidental. I went, who was the one who shouted slut. There was only two girls at my side luh, deborah and i, so of course i'll take offense. No one in their class own up, expected luh, no balls. Anyway, we headed off and went separate ways. CATS meeting tomorrow at 10am, then Jiachuan's birthday dinner celebration @ night. Anyone's welcomed, anyone from theUsuals i meant (: Karthi was being a nut, you know luh wisesnail, stop wishing me luck k. Over already, hahaha! Rilek only.. right? AHAHA. And Precious's lucky, two shots with one stone. Wish i had your luck, kk leh and the other one too. Whaaa. HAHAH. Rofl. And Fb is crazy, he ask me t play bball with him tmrw after my CATS. Crazy, i don't even play bball and i'll prolly suck at it. He says bball and netball samesame. Wtpong. Oh and thanks Khaidan/Sist, cause editing the vid would be alot of work.

I realized its been quite long since i stop in my footsteps and look back. Like how the company and the lifestyle have changed, cause of the environment. I rmb sec2, when town was like 2nd home. When cine was like, the hotspot. When the rejects were in, and all those fun times. Always watching Kim, Csh, Wanru, etc DDR. And kbox, when tuodia played, everyone jumped on the couches. HAHA. Going hougang to meet Linsin, Phyllis, Wayne, Yile & Co to play bball (AHAHA) Learing to cycle, i remember Elis and Yile were my teachers. Wayne's hotpink hair. The bball court eyelollies. Hawhaw. Plaza Sing, Queensway. And there was sec3, bananas were like my life. Criminals too. That year was honeymoon year man, i don't even recall studying much. And thats when Lover & Specialgirl were my closests, not forgetting significant others in the class. And outside. Obmlumut was a blast, 10days in the wild, like a dopeonly. Christmas with the Obm people, the malaysians who came down. And being foamed when i greet/hug people. Sec4 was freshest, so there isn't much to look back on aye? I remember bubbletea w beloved, running like kiasu aunties for 195 with her, drinking at yuan's (wha, i rmb getting drunk and puking like an idiot.), sentosa chalet (this time i didn't get drunk, i was in charge of washing puke and carrying unconscious bodies, HAHA), prom chalet (this time, i controlled. but still acted like a idiot enough to let the others laugh at me. yuan's the worst, rofl.) banmian w the classgang, haunted house for two years in the row, and the olevel mugging period (studied with Puiy and Yushan like maddd, tuiton with them as well + liying), imy dearest (bella, rmb how you went shopping w me for my prom dress! hahaha) and many other stuff, what to do, it was technically still my birthday period thats why. Embarrassing, -hides face. I see Playmate sniggering, but YOU,. This year's 29th Feb was waaaaaa, HAHHAH. LOL. I had to be sent home cause i was friggin wasted you were uttering nonsense too k. Lets not revisit that night, HAHA. The post olevel period break was so long. HAHAA. And i wasted time by going out, going out and going out. Sheesh. Ohkay, flightplane back to reality. I need to make my way downstairs for a while, so off i go. Baibai.

I will, i must. Erase the memories, a step at a time. I will muster the courage to do so, eventually. For now, lets just say i'm still looking back. Trying hard not to hope? I'll be lying if i say i don't have a single strand of hope left, but 'm gonna burn it. So that it will exist no more, its for the better. For my own good? Hahah. Just don't start your magic tricks again, if not i will be falling back to step 1. Okay who am i kidding. It wouldn't happen, this time i'm sure. I wouldn't bet on it, 'm not willing to risk another box of pocky. -looks at qaiser. And i'm sure i'm right though, there isn't gonna be any revists nor repetitions. 'm still glad, i have yallllllll. All of youuuuuuuuu, you know who you are. Heeeeee, -skips around meerrrrriillllyy. Okay, needa rush. I am always rushing, mothhhhha. And also, i think my post's very vulgar today (as compared to my normal posts) so do excuse the profanities, thanks alot. Ohgay. Baibai, for real.

2008-07-30T20:46:00.003+08:00

It's when you sleep, so late at night, and in the light, getting prepared. It's not to help you, but help their cause, under one system, you wont exist. They are the few, with all the power, our system screams, we can't let them tear our hearts out. Screaming, pulling on our pride. Stand together for the right cause, one system to our demise.

Miec Tutorial today, was effective. Haha (: Responsible Rep didn't turn up, Rofl. And neither did Matthew. I mean, Daniel. HAHAHHA. Karthi's amusing, but really wise :D The wise snail. His words/advice hit homerun. Till now, it echoes in my head. And Counterpart's awesome, he stayed back with me in school till late to study (: Thanks alot. As for this particular you, you think too much really. We're still cool yeah? Don't be silly, you still have me and you'll never lose me. Wouldn't let you chase me away, hawhaw. Even if we have little hiccups on the way. You'll always be special in my heart ohkayyy. Haha. Wait for the exams to be over and we can catch up whilst having strawberry pocky. I know you're working really hard now, don't stress out yeah. M loves S! (: Hahaha. Takegood care of yourself, drink water and make sure you eat -.- Haha. Everyone around me doesn't like to eat, -stares at sherylpat. Its essential, eat to survive. Don't eat, and you die. Okay maybe not. But whatever, life's too short, eat when you can. You never know if the next donut shop across the street might close down the next day. And that would be dreadful isn't it. Hahahahah. Damn, i should just zip it. Today's good, so far so good :D I'm lucky, i have more-than-awesome friends. Whoo.

You; You'll always have me here with you. Times spent with you have always been awesome, and i always look forward to seeing you. I'm glad we're close even though secondaryschool days are over and we were only tight at certain periods back then. But now, i love you way more than before. Haha. And just like how you're important to me, your words/opinions also matter a hell lot as well. Your cheery personality lights up every moody day i have and you chase the storms away for me, yay you. I look forward to many more moments with you. And yeah, i wouldn't dwell on it so much. Clouds and Storms. You know what i mean, both are weathers, they come and they go. We know it ourselves, that they are come in as and when, like the shutting of doors. Thus, its best not to put too much hope isn't it? Since the higher the hope, the higher the chance of disappointment. I'm working on practicing what i preach, so just give me some time (: And you, you must be happy awright. No matter what you do, its cliche, but i stand by you. Xoxo, you bring on sunny days and pretty fallen leaves, smallone. Small, with a Big heart. (:

Okay, 'm gonna head off soon. Someone didn't reply me, bet the phone's still in critical condition in the operating room. Lets all pray for its revival, and survival. Rofl. July's busy, beezeee. August would be hectic, cause of the final exams. And after that, i'll be freee like a bird. Ohoho. Q, K, B, S, V, your words mean alot. Just like how yall mean alot too :D I must be positive, i need to get the positive vibe from somewhere so it rubs off me. Haha. And sheryl agrees with me that Kk's cute. Hahahahaha. Funny funny. Okay goodbye, goodnight. I miss my boyf, wo yao see you soon. HAHA. Xoxo, out.

2008-07-29T23:39:00.001+08:00

He's online.

But he's far out of reach.

I need to slap myself.

2008-07-29T20:05:00.006+08:00

My private message on Msn was,
it feels as though something's amiss.
Here's what Mr Snail (Karthi) said,

0#VK#4 says:
U knw y it feels lidat?.
0#VK#4 says:
cox u 1 whole day nv c me
0#VK#4 says:
hahahah
0#VK#4 says:
=p
ZHIXIAN ` says:
OMG HAHAHAHAHHHAA

AND.

0#VK#4 says:
btw
0#VK#4 says:
thx 4 advertising me on ure blog
ZHIXIAN ` says:
i saw your tag
ZHIXIAN ` says:
HAHAHAHHAAH
0#VK#4 says:
din knw i so gd
ZHIXIAN ` says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
0#VK#4 says:
jang jang
0#VK#4 says:
hehe

On monday, when my priv message was "you give love a bad name", Karthi who was sitting next to me, turned to me and said, "sorry ah, sorry." HAHAHAHA. I cannot help but burst out laughing. And i was sitting between Karthi and Fangboon, two jokers. Fb keeps trying to disrupt my typing -.- And whalao, i am damn dumb. I accidentally clicked num lock so i thought my keyboard screwed up. Ended up talking to Karthi, Shaun and Bram online using 'draw'. Wtf. Tired okay. 1 hours plus of drawing. Then i frigging hell found out, its num lock and not my keyboard problem after i restarted my computer. Bram laughed like mad. Saih, and i laughed at him and myself -.-

Bram says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bram says:
this is damn dumb
Bram says:
hahaha da0n f4n
Bram says:
363
Bram says:
LOL
ZHIXIAN ` says:
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Okay as i was saying before i revealed my act of stupidity, the four of us meaning, Karthi, Fangboon, Qaiser and I MASS CONVO-ED during Bcomm. Even though we were sitting next to each other, all 4 in the same row. Fb said, 'we're sitting really far from each other.." HAHAHHAA. But it was funny. And Bram's still disturbing me about the Numlock thing. Wha shit, hilarious. And Bram wants me to change the quiz thing, he says he's single and available. Can't disappoint the girls. Pfft. -.-

Alameen after Tutorial today with the 01Usuals. (: Not everyone was present, Adeline didn't go for tutorial and Jiajie was elsewhere, ps us yet again. Gave us false hope that he will join us later on for pool but in the end, chose his bed over theUsuals. Disappointing. HAHAHA. Woke Jiachuan up during tutorial via sms, and he wasn't planning to come. But. Bram helped by screaming and chasing him outta bed. The mat with brighteyes appeared after a long wait, when we finished eating -.- Haha. The guys pooled after that. Reached home relatively early :D

Ohgay, tutorial tomorrow. 2 to 4. Then Cats Project, : I am tired, i think i will sleep soon. Exams are coming, i am i am i am i am nervous. And i need to get down to work, asap. If not, Gg. Okay, out. Goodbye :D

2008-07-28T19:27:00.004+08:00

I erased the first.
Cause Qaiser's look more interesting. HEEE.

Tagged by: Qaiser (:
List 20 people that come to your mind.

1. Van
2. Qaiser
3. Karthi
4. Fangboon
5. Marcus
6. Zhixin
7. Yuan
8. Ness
9. Halfy
10. Jiajie
11. Bellie
12. Sheryl
13. Bruno
14. Shaun
15. Chuyin
16. Weiling
17. Khaikit
18. Jiachuan
19. Bram
20. Chinxiang

How did you meet 14?
Haha. Sports camp :D
What would you do if you'd never met 1?
I would die. My Boyf's one of the best thing that happened to me when i went to Sports Camp/Ngee Ann. Ily luh, baby. Hahaha! Bfried, a&w :)
if 9 and 20 were fated?
HAHAH. Not possible -.-
Describe 3
Karthi's awesome, great friend great listener. Creator of Jangjang. And Karthi's tough yo. Bully him and you die. I die every day, cause he bullies me. HAHAH. -hears a distant, "rilek only!"
Is 8 attractive?
Yeah man, Sa's hot. HAHAHAAH. I see her ego boosting and head swelling.
Describe 7
Yuan's really similar to me. Sensitive, emotional and.. a talker. Haha. Bitchy, but i love you still babe. Hahaha. And she's one of the closest to my heart :D I haven't seen you for so long, playmate. Meet up after our exams k?
Do you know any of 12's family members?
Haha. Met her dad and younger brother before? At her surprise bday. HAHA!
What if 18 confess to you, he or she likes you?
"Eh mat, you think you funny uh." HAHAH. Unlikely.
What language does 15 speak?
Black speaks in black language. Ni zhe ge hei ren, i miss you!
Who's going out with 9?
My halfy's half is Liwei. Hahah.
How old is 16?
17.
When did you last speak to 13?
Just now, in the afternoon before i left Ourspace.
Who is 2 favourite singer?
Qaiser's an R%B fan. Haha. Idk, Chris brown? HAHAH.
Would you ever date 4?
Hahaha. Fangboon?! Ohmytian, ROFL. Joke.
Will you ever date with 17?
Khaikit will just irritate me nonstop with his actions and table-manerism (usuals yall knw, the fork and spoon thing -,-) Stupid boy.
Is 19 Single?
Haha yeah. But unavailable? If i'm not wrong, hahah!
What is 10's last name?
Lim.
What school is 3 in?
Ngee Ann!
Where does 6 live?
Rofl. Telok Blangah Crescent. In the bed next to mine. HAHAHA.
What are 5 favourite things?
Horns, Pool, More Pool, Tennis, Pocky (Right, MARUS? Hahaha!)
Have you ever seen 11 naked?
Nah, only in a bikini. Close enough right. HAHA.

Tag 5 people!
everyone who reads this, just rip (:

2008-07-25T23:12:00.004+08:00

Round and round, here we go again. Same old story, the same old end.

Turn my head, I turn back again. Same old stuff never ends.

Project meeting in the morning on friday. Weiling was there before me, then Jiajie arrived like a min or less after i did -.- Stupid. Then we settled down, but crapped. Cause Jiajie was playing the world's hardest game. Wth luh. Its really called the world's hardest game. Wtf, i laughed like some moron. And he sucked at it, HAHA. Nah, i think he was awright luh. I just like to make fun of him. Anyway, Khaidan and Sarah came after that. We couldn't meet the others for lunch though : But saw Andrew, Fangboon, Qaiser and Khaikit before we went off for Cats. Survyed people, bumped into quite a few faces. Mark and Ben were at Ourspace, saw Janice as well. Finished up and collated the survey results back at 53. ITB meeting after that yet again, without Jiajie cause he had s&w. Settled a couple of things. And i saw someone who looked super like Jiajie, it was shockingly alike. When i pointed him out to Sheryl, she was stunned too. Her expression looked just like mine. Then Khaidan told me that he's Jiajie's friend, i went :O

Shockface #2. HAHAH. Wth, same style. Laughed like a mofo at Sheryl. Met up with Precious, we wandered around and found ourselves at the Sports Complex -.- Shaun was helping out at ProjectNuts i think. The Mengs also. We walked off not long later, talked to Suren and Syahmi whom we bumped into. Suren's an ass, he's such a jacker. Syahmi's like some blockhead. Hahaha! Blur like hell. After sending Precious off, took 61 with Syahmi and Suren. Suren and I ganged up on Syahmi, tickled him. And he's really super random and in his own world, I bet i will laugh when i see him tomorrow. Hahaha! Instead of going back, i stayed to listen to Suren's stories -.-" Yeah, i wonder why. Haha. Menglinn came not long later. Went home later on at about close to 10. Tomorrow's another long day, this weekend sucks balls. I'm tired, but i can't skip anything. No bloody rest at all, effing pekchek.

Thanks Q, so nice of you to call just to check if i'm still upset with that matter. What to do, brudderrr. Dulan, Upset, Frustrated. Or even, tempted to ask _ to tey lite. Tey Lite luh, Barbi. All talk no action, i slap your bloody plastic smile off your face i tell you. But i can't luh, fuck. My mood today sucked like shit, plus the throbbing headache thats still persistent until this very second. My Boyf just called, yeaaaaa baby, But we always get cut off, so stupid. Pfft. Anyway, 'm not gonna bother about plastic girls and their masquerades. There's nothing i can do, just grin and bear with it. Hopefully, i don't burst. I'm way too transparent at times, -slaps head. Anyway, 'm gonna be going for softball interclass on saturday morning. And i'm still having a headache, sigh. Tired. Goodbye world.

With reference to today's bold words. Am i falling into a trap that i weaved on my own. Because i am not willing to. To be to accustomed to the surroundings. What if it goes without a word like how the others always do so. Then i would be running in the same cycle over and over again. Like a laughable situation, i should tear myself away from a habit. But the question lies in how to. I need to get my head in the game. Exams are approaching, at top speed. Tey Lite luh. Focus. -screams.

Edited/. Softball was fun (: Though we didn't win, we did play well. Friday Team 2 attained Champion, goodjob (: Yall deserved it. Xiuling's grad day later on at NTU. I had to change into a dress even though i was muddy and filthy from softball. Gross. I complained the whole way. Dinner Event later on. Then late at night, Sleepover at Yewt's (: With, Zhixin Jiaying Zhilin Yewt and Xiul. Studied stats for a few hrs with Yewt and i guess i can roughly get what Sampling means. Yay me. They were watching definitely maybe when yewt and i joined them, we settled down at 1plus to watch Harold and Kumar. And my parents' Wedding Vid :D Which was reallly entertaining. All of us rolled around on the mattresses/sofas, been a long time since we gathered. Calvin, Yunw, Zhiw, Xuan weren't there though so we were incomplete : Slept about 4am? And we woke up to Macs breakfast and dessert. (: Haha. Went off at about close to 3 odd.

The rest doesn't have to be said. Stunned. Shocked. Speechless. The words to descrive are endless, urgh. Well i swear i am super unlucky. Today only yknw, Sunday blues. Zhixin thinks i'm suay too. And i know i am. Qaiser thinks its funny, Van shares the same sentiments whereas Pat told me not to think too much about it. What to do. Why think so much when one isn't even worth much when looking at the other's eyes. I don't see my reflection, i never would. Things never did go my way, and i don't see any glimpse of hope that it would ever change this time round. Wrong one, like as though i'm wearing rose tinted spectacles. I think i am. For now, i'll just focus on brainwashing, myself. How sad, hur. I pray. Let it fly like fallen leaves in spring, just let the wind blow them away. Bye.

Bcomm presentation today. Stupid fangboon. Keep disrupting me.

2008-07-24T21:47:00.002+08:00

All pictures, are snitched from Marcus's phone. I think Weiling used his phone to flood his gallery cause i distinctly recall her saying that Marcus's phone has too few images. Haha! Funny. Oh, here's one Weiling took on wed off.. my hair. And i think the angle's good, i didn't even edit it -.- Haha. New colour, looks brighter under the sunlight i suppose. But somewhat there. PurpleRed.

Bram was playing with my umbrella, and i recall Khaikit or Bram complaining that the lace on my umbrella's not nice. And i was blackfacing for the sake of doing so and someone snapped a shot of me -.- I look :X Hahahaha. And i was laughing in the above picture, cause Bram could open my umbrella but i couldn't that morning and i had to hold the it with two hands cause it couldn't go all the way up. In the end, i got laughed at cause Bram had to show me how to open it -.- How foolish, i do marvel at my own intelligence sometimes. Ohkay shutup.

This is a shot taken today, before Stats tutorial. The whole group of us, 12 i think. Wait, excluding Jiachuan who just woke up like at 12pm -.- And including Nick plus his friend. We were all camping outside the photocopy/printing machine there whilst doing citations and sending our print jobs. Adeline's way awesome, she helped me do the citations luh! Thanks fling (: We slacked there for like 20 to 30 mins? Before submitting our second copy of the miec/bcom project then heading to class.

I don't know who took this shot but its really nice! Like, its super candid. Bet the snail, uh wait, i mean Karthi's gonna grab this picture. Haha. I posted this cause its one of the best candid shots in the folder. Honoured right, karthi. Now, stop bullying me. Start smiling and show your pearlies :D Hahaha! I want to laugh, so badly. Hahaha.

I think this is Khaidan's back! Haha. Our team shirt :D TheUsuals, Copyrighted! Haha. Anyway, 'm gonna place orders for the shirt for those who want it. So maybe, will start taking down names next week together with cash. Its really quite nice isn't it (: Haha. Spent dinner with Precious today (: At Alameen. We ate and caught up, laughed like maniacs and spilled hearts with words. Haha. I always have good times to remember by with her (: And she ALWAYS sends me off first, since secondary school till now. Thanks alot, baby. Next time, i want to do the honour! Pleasepleaseplease. Hahah. Oh oh, ticklewickle -giggles. Hahah! We walked past this woman who was talking agitatedly on the phone and her last words were, "... you understand!?" and then both Sheryl and I looked at each other before saying, "yes understand." TOGETHER. Hahha omg dope. Laughed ourselves silly after that, it was the highlight. Great minds do think alike, i'm the rock and she's the stone. Then we have a pebble as well as a gravel, heehee. I♥you, sillypillypattyprecious. Don't forget that, -slaps your rear and runs off. Rofl.
My boyf's enjoying herself with her friends now, watching a movie (: Will see you on monday k, Boyf! But i start school at 830am ): So i guess i might have to head off early. We have other days, i am positive (: I'm sorry that we can't seem to meet up, but you do know you're in my heart right? You'll always be, and Boyf! Always and Forever, Heeheehee.

Anyway, i've awesome 01usuals as classmates. Everyone's so supportive :D
Thanks Jiajie (ex-crush yo, HAHAHA), Jiachuan (EH MAT. shuffle leh. HAHA.), Bruno (Counterpart!) as well as Marcus (who had track but still stopped by to cheer for us) for supporting theUsuals yesterday in street netball. Partner as well. And of course, Precious :D:D We got into the finals, and went against the other 3 teams who also won all games to get into the Top 4. Lost 2, but the opponents were strong and they played really well. Both centers (both guys) who marked me, were super fast. Jumped high too, like monkeys. Haha! When i watched the finals, whereby they marked each other, i did wonder how i looked when i defended them. Prolly, like a idiot. Haha! But yeah, we got 3rd overall :D Brought back medals. Everyone played awesome (: Good job, Usuals! Last few matches were amusing, and exciting. Bram can jump! Haha. Went home with Menglinn cause he was taking opposite too, and he had training at the same court we played at -.- Then when he got off, Markino got on at holland -.- He accompanied me back on 195! Hahah. Been a long time since i last saw him. Everyone's so busy : I don't even see my son around either! After final exams, i'm aiming for that period (: Anyway, July's been crazily hectic. And still is, three more presentations next week! -faints. Goodnight world, 'm really exhausted. Xoxo.

2008-07-22T22:59:00.005+08:00

Street Netball :D
Haha. The Usuals, Rocked. 3 matches today. Wenqi, Khaidan, Qaiser, Weiling, Cheryl and I. I acheived my goal for today, to run and run till i'm breathless. They said i ran around like a monkey. Haha. Thats good, means my goal = completed. HAHA. Thanks also, to Precious(: Donut(: Marcus (our coach) Khaikit Bruno (assist coach) Ziq Zul for coming down to suppport us (: Jaredstar bluffed me that, he's refreeing the matches and that he didn't have touch rug today. but i didn't believe :D Didn't fall for it, ahahahah. And he wears g-strings, rofl. We played against this group of fillipinos today too, they were technically the best on court. They owned other teams like, 12 to 0 and 8 to 0. Seriously, huge shock luh. Tactics and communication was there. So when it came to our turn to play against them, we used mental strength :D They were bloody vulgar luh, fuck here fuck there. I got scolded like don't know how many fucking times and i didn't even do anything. The others playing also, all were victims of verbal abuse. Apart from accidentally knocking into the shortest player, i didn't even slam her or what luh -.- But i offered my hand to pull her up and she bloodyhell swiped it away. Knn. Like go and die, i was pissed. Everyone was with them. The blueshirt girl called Qaiser names and they had super bad playing attitude and sportsmanship.

We thrashed them, by a narrow margin. Cause we held onto the ball, for the last few seconds. They were damn dulan, can tell (: HEE. 2-1, baby. HAHA. First half, 0 goals somemore. Hahah. We celebrated after that, with a ending team whoosh and alot of complaining to the others there. I think i was super vulgar after the match, hahahah. But you can't blame me kkkk, i didn't do anything to them. We won all games today, yay us :D But i went back with injuries. A scald on my thumb from the morning milo, it swelled luh. Its like some bubble there now, and its fucking pain ): And my last finger, is swollen from netball. Blueblack and its bloody huge. As compared to my other last finger. My face got smacked by the netball, that was the funny one. Haha! But 'm okay (: Got elbowed in the stomach and face. But hey, whats this compared to playing street netball with a sprained ankle during sports camp. HAHA. -rofl. Zhixian's a strrooonnng girl :D And The Usuals, Great JOB today :D Yay us! Haha. Tomorrow, we'll do the same :D Bram is subbing for Qaiser tmrw, hoho. And i'm super tired, i'm gonna die soon. And i didn't eat. HAHAH. Qaiser's forcing me to eat, i mean persuading. Haha. Oh and i got a shock when i saw Shaun today. Its like -.- i didn't knw he was gonna come back t ngeeann. Hahah. I was ice-ing my finger on the way though, and the huge bag of ice was killing my nerves. X:

I can't wait for tomorrow, -laughs. Ohkay, i'm gonna head off to bed soon. This week's frigging packed. Every day, there's smtg on till late. Wha sian, all the way till the end of July. I miss my boyf already, looks like i can't meet up with her for dinner this week ): Saih. Unless boyfriend is free for dinner on thursday night. Are you are you, boyf? HAHA. Awright, 'm gonna go and sleep already. And slowly rub my finger, HAHA. I need it for tmrwwwwww. K nights, out.

2008-07-21T20:28:00.004+08:00

To One of the Closest Friends I've ever had;
You're easily one of the friends i've known for the longest, since i was 11? And till today, we'll still as tight as ever. Maybe not so much anymore but i'm still glad that we have occassional dates to catch up and to have a meal or two. Remeber December 2007? When we were in bintan, you and crush joined my family on our holiday there. I awoke with a start, crying after hearing the dreadful news of my gramps passing on. As i teared and packed my belongings to rush back to Singapore, you were there for me. Though you didn't say much, your presence was all that counts. And i'm sure you know that. You even sent flowers to the wake after we reached back Singapore, and it was such a sweet gesture. Just like you were there for me, I want to be here for you as well. It did come as a shock just now in the evening that so many others in my family knew of it before I did. I'm sure the grief is probably too much to take, having been in your shoes exactly 7 months back and I know you've your reasons for not telling me, i just want you to know i'm here. If you ever read this. Love you long time. My deepest condolences. Xoxo. -Hug.

Not forgetting Hy, for the loss of her loved one as well. Stay strong, classmate.
Guess tomorrow would be a short day for me, since the wake ends on wednesday so i've devised my plans for tomorrow. So i think i'll make a trip down. Drop my stuff back home after Obse, then travel down. Afterwhich, either travel back home to get my stuff or head back to Ngee Ann. Either way, i'm sure i have sufficient time. -screams, i don't know abt my plans anymore. Time's so fking tight ): I'm going offline now, today's moodiness was like a foreboding. Like as though, somehow i knew that you were not your strongest self and i felt for you. What can i say. Life's so damn, fragile.

2008-07-21T17:28:00.004+08:00

I got to meet Boyf today, that made my day. Jiaying and Zhilin dropped by Ngee Ann for a while, and that was the highlight (: Qaiser and Bruno are observant, i'm not surprised. Haha. Thanks guys, appreciate the concern. Felt better during lecture, Bram's jokes are stupid. But they're laughable. Carcrash -rofl. And well this is random but, i wish i was as invisible as you make me feel. Hoohoo, no emo thoughts here. Just the plain and frank truth. July's gonna suck, projects and deadlines, and revision also. My headache from ystd is coming back, and I can't keep resorting to panadols. They never did work for me anyway. Ohwells, today sucked. Tomorrow will be better. I hope.